By Dann Lennard
Lot of older guys here tonight – a sea of red'n'yellow (plus the odd NWO "Hollywood" Hogan t-shirt). Some kids. I saw a few Cena and Triple H shirts and one Beer Money Inc. T-shirt.
The freaks are out tonight, too. This is not a family atmosphere, like your typical WWE event. However, it's a pretty hot crowd.
Card started horribly.
1. Pimpfather (with four underaged Filipino ladies) b Sean Morely. Pimp kept calling him "Val". The pre-match banter was real WWF Attitude Era stuff – it makes you realise how much Vince has toned down the product in recent years. Match went barely five minutes and was just okay.
2. Nasty Boys (w/ Jimmy Hart) DCOR Rock Of Love (or whatever those indy guys are called). Thirty-second brawl outside the ring, then both teams were counted out and they brawled to the back. Crowd was stunned and it killed the crowd for the next match.
3. Heidenreich b Nick Dinsmore. Dinsmore worked total Eugene-style, which made for a hideous match. Heidenreich doesn't know what gimmick he's doing now: it's part-psycho, part-soldier, part-Eugene. Sadly, all the parts add up to the total shits in the ring. Five minutes of sheer badness. At this point, I felt this was an odds-on winner for worst live card ever.
4. A video played of the Nastys brawling with the jibronies out the back; they then brawled to the ring and Jimmy Hart declared it was an "Australian street fight". Lots of water cooler shots to the head and, more disturbingly, a ton of chair shots to the head. The jobbers got destroyed and the Nastys won. It was a fine little garbage match in the style of the old Public Enemy matches in mid-90s ECW. Just wish there hadn't been so many blows to the head. This match got the crowd back into the show.
5. Black Pearl/Vampire Warrior b Jr Fatu/Brian Christopher. Brian looked pretty good early on. The ending – with Pearl pinning Brian – was botched horribly and I thought at first that it was Brian's fault.
But a wrestler friend told me it was because Pearl was in the wrong position for the last few moves. Anyway, Black Pearl is pretty horrible. Warrior took some good bumps. Fatu is just huge. Like Yokozuna huge...which can't be good for his health. The crowd popped huge for Fatu & Christopher dancing at the end of the match.
Time for a 15-minute intermission. During the break, two fans – one dressed as 1990-style Undertaker, the other dressed as Ultimate Warrior – had a mock match in the crowd, ending when the Undertaker removed Warrior's wig. They got a huge round of applause – their bout was ten times better than Heidenreich vs Dinsmore.
The second half began with a bikini contest. It ended in a catfight, then the three girls spanked the ref. Forgettable.
6. Brutus Beefcake (w/- Jimmy Hart) b Orlando Jordan with the sleeper. Pretty much all stalling and the bout was horrible. Orlando's theme tune is kinda disturbing. Beefcake cut off a chunk of Jordan's hair after the match.
7. Matt Cross b Shannon Moore in a ladder match by grabbing a briefcase containing $25,000 in Monopoly money. Best match of the card by far. Awesome big moves and great bumps. Cross was the heel but the crowd really liked him by the end 'cos he just killed himself on so many moves. I think the ladders (there were three in all) detracted a bit from the two guys. I think a regular match between them would've been truly awesome, but I'd give this bout at least ***.
8. Osu b Mr Ken Anderson. The man formerly known as Umaga was great here. This was a WWE-style match but it was easily the second-best bout on the card. Anderson did some nice Mr Kennedy-style mic work before the bout. He gained two visionary pins on Umaga, but the ref was unconscious. Eventually, Umaga destroyed him for the pin. Anderson didn't look out of shape here. I hope he goes to TNA and finds a niche there.
9. Hulk Hogan b Ric Flair (w/- Lacey Von Erich) in a no-DQ match. The same bout that was held in other cities. Flair bumped like crazy. Hogan looked old and frail. There were a ton of run-ins: Lacey attacked Hulk and got her dress ripped off by Jimmy Hart. She was then atomic dropped by Hogan, followed by a double noggin-knocker on her and Flair. Next came Orlando Jordan and Heidenreich, who were run off by the Nasty Boys. Umaga then ran in and did the corner smash thing before Hogan hulked up and threw him outside. Both Flair and Hogan bled buckets. Flair did just about every bump in his repertoire (including the press slam from the top rope). Finally, Flair got the big boot, Jimmy threw Hulk his megaphone and Hogan clocked Nature Boy for the three count. The crowd went nuts for everything – it was like attending a nostalgia tour by a rock band you loved in the 80s. You just wanna hear them play your fave songs live one more time. Sure, it doesn't sound as good as when they did it 20 years ago, and everyone's looking a little older and more haggard, but you cut them some slack. That's what the crowd did tonight with Hogan and Flair.
All in all, it was a fun card. Two good matches, only two truly awful bouts and the main event delivered for those of us who've never seen Hogan vs Flair live.
But they can't come back and do it again. This nostalgia ride was only good for one trip.
By James Stanios
1. Pimp Fatha beat Sean Morley. Morley did an elbow drop. Pimp slammed Morley. Morley did a neckbreaker. Pimp did a side suplex. Pimp pinned Morley using the tights.
2. Nasty Boys (managed by Jimmy Hart) wrestled Rock of Love to a double countout. All four brawled outside the ring. Result was a double countout in a very short match
3. Jon Heidenreich beat Nick Dinsmore. Heidenreich clotheslined Dinsmore. Dinsmore threw punches at Heidenreich. Dinsmore did a rock bottom. Heidenreich later pinned Dinsmore with a rock bottom.
4. Nasty Boys beat Rock of Love in a Falls Count Anywhere match. I am not familiar with Rock of Love and there were no programs for sale at the show. Saggs used a steel chair to the head. Knobbs used a chair to the back. All four brawled outside the ring. Knobbs threw a Rock of Love member into a piece of plywood. Knobbs pinned Rock of Love member.
5. Vampire Warrior & Black Pearl beat Junior Fatu (Rikishi) & Brian Christopher. Vampire superkicked Pearl. Christopher and Vampire gave each other clotheslines. Fatu gave Vampire a Samoan drop. Pearl pinned Christopher. After the match Fatu gave Pearl the stinkface. Fatu , Christopher and the ref danced.
- Next was a bikini contest between Stephanie Pietz, Koa Marie Turner and Kiara Dillon. Stephanie won. There was a catfight between two of the girls. The ref also got involved.
6. Brutus Beefcake (managed by Jimmy Hart ) beat Orlando Jordan. On the mic Jordan called Beefcake an old relic. Beefcake did a strut. Beefcake backdropped Jordan. They brawled outside the ring. Jordan gave Beefcake a side suplex. Beefcake won with a sleeper hold. 7. Matt Cross beat Shannon Moore in a ladder match. They brawled outside the ring. Cross powerbombed Moore. Cross superplexed Moore off the top of a ladder. Moore gave Cross a swinging neckbreaker off a ladder. Cross did a 450 splash on Moore. Cross grabbed the briefcase to win the match. Best match of the show and best match I have seen in Australia this year. ***
8. Uso Fatu (Umaga) beat Mr Anderson. Anderson did his catchphrase saying Mr Anderson. Anderson gave Fatu an enzuigiri but the ref was out cold. Anderson gave Fatu a Russian leg sweep. Anderson had Fatu up for a Samoan drop but he collapsed because of the weight. Fatu pinned Anderson.
9. Hulk Hogan beat Ric Flair (with Lacey Von Erich). I have been going to wrestling shows for 25 years in Australia and Hogan`s pop was the loudest I have heard at a wrestling show in Australia. Hogan got a standing ovation. Von Erich interfered in the match. Jimmy Hart also interfered in the match. Hogan gave Von Erich a safe atomic drop. Heidenreich and Jordan interfered. The Nasty Boys then interfered. Flair gave Hogan a figure four leglock. Hogan whipped Flair with his belt. Flair bladed. Uso Fatu (Umaga) interfered. Hogan hulked up. Hogan hit Flair with Hart`s megaphone and then pinned Flair. Flair carried Hogan to a perfectly acceptable match. Hogan got another standing ovation. Hogan flexed while Jimmy Hart was in the ring.
Notes: - lots of Hogan t-shirts and bandannas worn by kids and adults. Much of it bought at the show.
The show went for 3 hours 20 minutes including a 15 minute intermission.
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