Raw is Springer TV report

WWE Raw Report
By: Todd Martin

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Blog: toddwmartin.blogspot.com

Date: 02/15/10 from Des Moines, IA.

The Big News: Well, so much for the streak of excellent Raws. Hell, so much for the streak of non-dreadful Raws, too.

Show Analysis:

Sheamus beat Randy Orton via DQ. There were RKO chants early. Sheamus hit a power slam but missed the big boot. Orton went for the RKO but Sheamus escaped. Orton gained control with the Garvin stomp but was distracted when Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes came to ringside. Sheamus took over with punches, kicks and knees. Orton responded with punches, kicks and stomps. Orton went for the RKO and Sheamus kind of escaped.

On the outside, DiBiase tried to attack Sheamus behind the referee’s back. Sheamus fought him off immediately so Rhodes attacked Sheamus from behind. The referee saw that and disqualified Orton. Afterwards, Orton gave Rhodes the RKO. Sheamus then dove in with a big boot on DiBiase and Orton gave Sheamus the RKO. This match was quite boring with a redundant crap finish.

Bret Hart came to the ring. He said it was no shock that Vince McMahon wasn’t there, because Bret would be waiting for him. Bret said the words were echoing in his head that he deserved to be screwed. Bret said he thought Vince deserves to have the crap beaten out of him. Bret added that he would have loved to take out Vince at WrestleMania but it wasn’t meant to be. He thanked the wrestlers, fans, and John Cena. He said goodbye and left. He said goodbye to the wrestlers backstage, shook hands with Cena, and went to leave. I didn’t understand Bret’s motivation here at all, but that’s a minor quibble compared to what would come.

Next up was the big angle. Off camera a woman backed her car into Bret’s limousine as Bret was getting in. When they panned to Bret, his leg was hanging out of the car. They showed another camera angle later that made it seem Bret’s leg should have been severed or at the very least crushed, but there wasn’t even any blood. Bret was put on a stretcher and left in an ambulance. They played this up as a huge deal throughout the rest of the show. It looked completely fake.

I won’t go so far as to say this was a complete disaster or that they ruined the Bret/Vince angle in one week, but this was such an idiotic, ill-conceived directional turn. Has there ever been a vehicular assault angle in pro wrestling that has worked? It always looks like bullshit. Nobody ever buys it. It just makes the whole angle look fake. And of all the angles to not interject this idiocy into, it was Bret and Vince because the whole reason the angle was working was the realism of it all. People buy that Bret is angry at Vince for Montreal and the years of tumult that followed. Nobody buys that Bret is angry at Vince because Vince paid some woman to try to cripple him with an automobile on Raw.

This is exactly the sort of scenario we all feared WWE would do with Bret and Vince: substitute the real life issue between the two for some contrived, WWE scripted bullshit. After weeks of quality build I had completely let down my guard and assumed WWE was going to follow through this angle well, and then they pull this shit.

Mark Henry and MVP beat Miz and Big Show. MVP hit a yakuza kick on Miz and Henry hit the world’s strongest slam but Show broke up the pin. Big Show tagged in and hit a DDT but missed a Vader bomb. MVP then got the tag. He hit a face buster and yakuza kick on Show but ran into a kick from Show. Miz tagged in and covered, but MVP reversed into a pinfall of his own for the win. This match felt really rushed, as they had to make time for the 45 minute segment that would follow.

Next up was the Jerry Springer Show on Raw. Because, you know, WWE doesn’t want to be viewed as low brow, white trash entertainment. The announcers put Springer over huge and billed him as a television legend, which is sort of like Mel Gibson seeking to salvage his reputation by doing a buddy comedy with Michael Richards. The theme of the show was WWE’s most intimate relationships revealed.

Springer brought out Kelly Kelly, whose acting throughout this segment was Tiffany level atrocious. She said she was pregnant but wasn’t sure of the father because she has been in a lot of relationships. Santino came out and said he was the father. Kelly said that when Santino was sleeping she needed someone to finish the job. Michael Cole then got up and said, “That was our little secret, you loose lipped hussy!” Jerry Lawler then said Kelly was talking about him. Springer of course responded that Kelly was too old for Lawler.

The Bella Twins were out next. Nikki said that Brie was a man and they got into a fight as Santino tried to get people to chant “Jerry.” Springer wanted to know who was in the room with Kelly. Chris Masters came out, which brought out an angry Eve Torres. She got into a fight with Kelly over Kelly taking her man. The wrestlers again tried to get people to chant “Jerry.”

Masters said Torres wasn’t getting the job done. So Torres said she was also cheating with Great Khali. Khali came out and made out with Torres. Springer then said he had the results of the paternity test, and of course it was Hornswoggle. Springer left. Lawler then told Springer this was all a charade. No, really? Ranjin Singh said the Great Khali felt like the audience that this was a waste of time. No, really? Mae Young then came out and made out with Springer as the wrestlers yet again tried to get the crowd to chant “Jerry.” There were more wrestlers chanting “Jerry” than people in the crowd doing so.

This seriously may have been the low point in the history of Raw. Just the most moronic, interminable, negative stereotype-affirming nonsense. “Entertainment” by idiots and for idiots. And no, I don’t consider “it’s supposed to be awful” to be a particularly compelling defense for awful television programming.

Ted DiBiase beat Kofi Kingston in a brief match. Since DiBiase was going over, Kingston got the whole match. He hit a dropkick, clothesline off the top and boom drop. He set up for trouble in paradise but ran into the corner and DiBiase hit Dream Street for the pin.

They announced Antonio Inoki for the WWE Hall of Fame. This was kind of surreal in that they were acknowledging all this history that they have basically pretended never happened for decades. They talked about the formation of New Japan, the match with Muhammad Ali and the shows in North Korea. Props to WWE for bringing this history to the fans’ attention. They also announced Jewel and bull rider Ty Murray as the guest hosts next week. NASCAR, Jerry Springer, bull riding, it just gets better and better.

John Cena was in the ring and had an argument with Batista on the video screen. Cena was sarcastic and smarmy discussing how Batista attacked him from behind. Batista laughed and said Cena keeps running his mouth when Batista isn’t there. Batista said he will be on Raw next week and Cena can run his mouth then. He finally wished Cena luck on Sunday. Maybe it’s just me, but I find Batista’s character so much more likeable than Cena’s.

HHH beat John Cena via DQ. Cena hit a fisherman buster and threw HHH over the top, but accidentally dove into the barricade. HHH got heat during a commercial break but Cena quickly came back with shoulder blocks and the five knuckle. He went for the FU but HHH got out and hit a clothesline. HHH went for a superplex but Cena blocked and hit a top rope rocker dropper. Cena went for the STF but HHH reversed into a half crab. HHH hit a high knee, face buster and spine buster. He went for the pedigree but Sheamus ran in with a big boot for the DQ. He gave Cena the big boot too and hit a razor’s edge on HHH.

I just don’t buy that in 2010 crap finishes help build PPV matches. They’ve been done way too frequently for way too long and they just make matches feel pointless. I’d much rather they book TV matches where guys go over and then match up the guys who go over at the PPV to settle who the best is. Instead, they have a bunch of matches with crap finishes and then the same guys wrestle on the PPV. The hook for watching the PPV seems to be that this time we may actually give you a real finish.

WWE is essentially like a really stupid con man running a shell game. He offers you a free try, only he rigs it so you lose. Then he tries to get you to play again, only this time for $45, and says this time he’s going to play fair. This is not a very profitable con job. There are better strategies to be had, both in terms of engendering goodwill with your audience and in profiting more on PPV.

Final Thoughts:

This was so much worse than other recent editions of Raw. It had bad matches, bad finishes, bad angles and a dreadful Jerry Springer skit. It wasn’t just a letdown, but rather a gigantic step in the wrong direction.

If you want to hear a much more positive take on WWE’s WrestleMania direction, you can check out a podcast I did with Alex Reimer here at www.thesportsstuff.com. It was recorded prior to this edition of Raw and is as a result much more upbeat. Also, I forgot to mention this last week, but I was on the Fight Show podcast with Mauro Ranallo talking wrestling and MMA on February 3, so you can check that out too through iTunes via hardcoresportsradio.com/podcast.