TNA British Boot Camp TV report - first two episodes

TNA British Boot Camp

Episodes 1 and 2

by Emerson “Yes I am doing this, too” Witner

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e-mail: ewitner@yahoo.com

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Twitter: @TheReallyRealEW

Ladies and Gentlemen, I love the internet. Seeing as how I live in US, how else could I possibly watch TNA's British reality show? 

Anyhoo, for those of you who either do not know or have not listened to Figure Four Daily with Jeremy Borash from a few weeks ago, let me quickly explain to you what British Boot Camp is.

It is a TNA reality show following four people, two men and two women, in their effort to win not only the competition, but a contract with TNA Wrestling. 

The four participants are...

“Party” Marty Scurll, a 24 year old wrestler out of Cambridge. He has wrestled for the Frontier Wrestling Alliance, All Star Wrestling and International Pro Wrestling: United Kingdom, among others.

Rockstar Spud, 29 years old from Birmingham. At 5'3 and 130 pounds he is considered the smallest mainstream wrestler in the UK. He has also wrestled for FWA and IPW: UK, as well as wrestling for Pro Wrestling Guerrilla during a tour of England in 2006.

The Blossom Twins, who, as you may have figured out from the name, are twin sisters going by the names Hannah and Holly. They are 24, absolutely gorgeous and have wrestled for OVW and Wrestlicious, among other places.

From all appearances Marty and Spud can only win individually, while the Blossom Twins will win as a tandem.

Onto the show!

-Episode one opens up with a video package showing great British wrestlers of the past, including Big Daddy, Davey Boy Smith and TNA's British Invasion group of Magnus, Doug Williams and Robbie T before showing some of the top American's such as Jeff Hardy, Kurt Angle and Mr. Anderson, which stands out more so than even Rob Terry.

We go to a meeting with Hulk Hogan and Dixie Carter where they are discussing the planning of the show and Dixie saying that if these kids are smart they will take this opportunity and run with it.

-Quickly we head to a party in the UK where they introduce the four participants one at a time. Each person got a 1-2 minute video package of not only some of their highlights in wrestling, but their lives growing up.

Marty talked about starting wrestling at 14. Brutus Magnus came on and said that Marty is his best friend in the business. Marty talks about how he has fought for everything he's got and is considered one of the best wrestlers in the UK. His dream appears to be able to wrestle at Wembly Arena and let his family see him there, showing them that he has made it.

Rockstar Spud appeared on the screen and you just got this feeling that he was a big star. His size doesn't stand out that much since Marty is only 5 or 6 inches taller than him. Spud carries himself like a star and if you were to see this man in real life, you would stop and take notice. He first got into wrestling by watching Hulk Hogan. Hogan said that Spud said his prayers and took his vitamins. Spud mentions that it hurt him that his family laughed off his dream of being a wrestler, but he will not let anyone stand in his way of being the biggest star in the world.

The Blossom's come out last. They have been watching wrestling since they were 12 and have been wanting to wrestle since they were 14. They have been wrestling 8 years now. Magnus mentions that they have a positive reputation. Tara mentions they are both very sweet. They actually have a real job, as they teach 6 and 7 year old children. They are not pointing out which one is which, but one has darker hair so at least you could tell them apart. Their sister Jennifer promises to be sitting ringside at every match they have in TNA. That might cost her a few dollars.

Dixie finishes off the introduction by saying their journey starts tomorrow and ends in the Impact Zone. For the winner the journey is only beginning as they start the next phase of their careers.

Dixie tells them to have a great night's sleep because they will need it.

-After commercial we kick off the storyline where Spud and Marty hate each other and have prior heat with one another.

Spud was on the mic saying Marty needed to go on a dating show to get a girlfriend. Marty countered by saying only blind people and wankers wear sunglasses indoors.

Spud and Marty quickly hit the bottle while the twins wanted to go out for a night on the town. 

By 6:03 pm Spud is already drunk and is still throwing back drinks, bickering with Marty. They jump around a lot and show that Spud and Marty ran off together for a little bit, which angers the twins since they wanted to go out as a group.

Marty points out that he doesn't want to be babysitting the girls and the girls say that they wouldn't treat Marty and Spud like 7 year old children if they didn't act like 7 year old children.

At 8:52 pm Marty is drunk and taking a piss on the side of a building while the other three watch from the limo. 

At 9:40 pm Marty is telling Spud to take a piss on a building and if he gets arrested and kicked off the show that is better for them.

The Blossom's decide to have a decent head on their shoulders and call it a night. Sadly getting in a limo and starting to ride home didn't help matters.

At 10:14 pm we start the stupidest argument ever where Marty points out that he has more Twitter followers than Spud. Spud is trying to ignore him and the girls are telling him to shut up.

Spud says the only reason he has more Twitter followers is because Marty went on a dating show. The girls are getting annoyed as they continue to escalate.

Spud promises Marty that if the girls weren't there he would smack him in the face. Marty calls his bluff, so Spud smacked him in the face, but Marty didn't retaliate. In their interview Marty said Spud smacked him because Marty has more Twitter followers and Spud said he would have smacked him harder if the girls weren't there.

Anyway, Spud leaves the limo and continues to drink more, while the other three return home. 

Spud stays out drinking until after 2:30 am. It doesn't say when he got home, but he woke up at 8:17 am and the others were up at 7:30 eating and/or doing cardio.

-The final segment of the show saw their trainer arrive in a limo. They wondered what legend, what star would be mentoring them. It turned out to be Rollerball Rocco, who wrestled all over the world in the 70's and 80's. 

Mike Tenay (looking really old) and Hulk Hogan put him over as an all time great. Rocco said his decision will make or break them and gave them ten minutes to get in the warehouse and to the ring.

We fast forward ten minutes and Marty and the Blossom's are ready, but Spud isn't. Episode one ends with Rollerball going outside where Spud is vomiting near a dumpster.

It would be a great cliffhanger, but Episode two started seconds later.

Episode two picks up right where episode one left off. Spud was making excuses while Rocco told him that he is throwing his career away for a few drinks. After a brief browbeating he told him to get in the ring.

Rocco said he will not risk his reputation by telling Dixie that they are good if they are not.

The twins volunteered to get in the ring first. We got some brief clips of them training, with Rocco encouraging them from the sidelines. We got interviews with Spud and Marty saying that they are good. They aren't bad, but one of them apparently did not know you aren't supposed to lock up on the left side.

They did have the annoying WWE camera work of zooming in during every move, which gives you a bloody headache.

They were messy in spots and a Blossom went up for a dropkick and hurt her ankle on the way down. Rocco tells her to get some ice, but she tries to no-sell it. She hopped around a little, but Rocco insisted she take a break for a minute.

To her credit (stupidity perhaps) she stayed in the ring and continued running through their spots. Spud, Marty and Rocco all put over their grit and that they have a future.

Marty and Spud were a bit more aggressive than the girls, which most will expect. Spud put over Marty as a good wrestler but then talked about how Marty wouldn't give him a chance to show what he could do. It kinda reminded me of that Team 3D-LAX match from 2007 where 3D, despite being faces, gave LAX next to nothing on a live pay per view match.

Spud, in frustration, rolled out of the ring and got into an argument with Rocco. Spud walked out the door and went for a walk. Rocco followed him, pissed off and got him back. Rocco then got into the ring and, to quote Spud, beat the living hell out of Spud.

Marty and Rocco actually put over that Spud took his beating and was a better person for it. Rocco called him a crazy, crazy person but he was going to make it.

-After that Marty lined them up and said that he was sending all four of them to the US, which takes them to their next step, that being wrestling at an Impact Wrestling show.

-TNA Publicist Simon Rothstein shows up and tells the four of them that he has been told to send them out to do media, just to see how they handle themselves.

The Blossom's were sent for an interview with Cosmopolitan magazine, but all four of them were going to be on talk radio and interviewed by the Daily Star.

-The scene jumps around to various media appearances.

We started things off with interviews with the Daily Star.

The interviewer started off by telling the Blossom's that women in wrestling are viewed as nothing but eye candy, telling Marty that he is a bit of a player and Spud was Britain's Most Annoying Wrestler. The girls defended themselves well, Marty stumbled over his words a bit, but recovered and Spud started getting pissed off.

The interview with Marty and later the guy's interview on talk radio breaks down into a discussion about how hot the Blossom Twins are. Marty says that he has his eye on Hannah. No idea which one she is.

In her Cosmo interview the girls say that they hope to be positive role models for the young girls out there.

During a conversation with the editor of The Sun we find out that Marty did something in a previous life that caused him to be on the front page of The Sun for “all the wrong reasons”. The Blossom Twins know who signs the checks by saying they would love to work for such a smart woman. Marty just said that he would do Dixie, which he was told off about.

-JB makes an appearance, saying he has brought the four of them to an Indy show to find out if they can talk the talk. All Spud was worried about was if he could say whatever he wanted to and Borash confirmed that he could.

-Spud got booed out of the building without saying a word. When he finally took the mic he called himself the biggest star in wrestling today. They didn't show him saying much, which really disappointed me.

-The Blossom's mentioned that they weren't know for their mic skills, but that was about to change. They said four words and Spud grabbed the mic from them and ran them down, calling them ring rats.

Blossom Twin A said she heard Spud had a small penis. Blossom Twin B yelled at him and Spud backed down like a chicken shit heel. Damn he is great.

-Marty came out to a huge reaction, fist pumping and drinking a beer. They were eating out of his hand and got the crowd chanting “He's not fourteen” at Spud.

By virtue of a fan vote, Party Marty was declared the winner. This being a TNA show at it's very core, half the audience was decked out in WWE gear. No Cena shirts, but Punk, Dolph and Daniel Bryan seemed to dominate the audience. WWE would have at least given out some shirts to the audience or just not shown a bunch of people in TNA gear.

-Spud wanted to fight Marty right now. Borash tried breaking it up, but finally left the ring to let them fight. Spud, being the great chicken shit heel he appears to be, left just as they were about to lock up, saying he wouldn't lower himself to wrestling in front of those people.

-The show wrapped up first with JB putting each of them over for what they did in the bar and then each of the four saying good bye to their respective families and getting ready to fly to the States.

-So that is it for the first two episodes of the show that was so great I stayed up until 2am watching and reviewing it. I have not had this much fun watching wrestling since NXT became the developmental territory. You need to hunt down these two shows and check them out, you will not be disappointed.

I will be back next week and every week until the show is over. There appears to only be 6 episodes and I have already done two.

See ya next week!