January 3, 2013
LIVE! From Full Sail University
by Emerson “Re-tweeted by Jeremy Borash and Rockstar Spud” Witner
Before I begin:
-Are
you surprised that Jeremy Borash and Rockstar Spud re-tweeted me?
That's because you haven't read my incredibly awesome review of the
incredibly awesome show British Boot Camp. Go to F4WOnline.com or
AngryMarks.com and read all about Rockstar Spud, Party Marty and the
oh-so-gorgeous Blossom Twins.
-As
I type this, the great Buddy Wayne has gone in for his second open
heart surgery, so please keep him in your thoughts and prayers. You can
also e-mail well wishes to him at
BuddyWayne@frontier.com
Any questions, comments concerns of emotional outbursts? Contact me:
e-mail:
ewitner@yahoo.com
Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man
Twitter: @TheReallyRealEW
Here's what you need to know about NXT:
-They
have a champion, it's Seth Rollins, aka the former Tyler Black. For
weeks after he was called up NXT was in an Alternate Universe where he
was not here to Shield us against injustice. That all changed on 12/27
as they acknowledged it for the first time ever.
-Dusty Rhodes is the Authority Figure, but his job title seems to change from week to week.
-They have a seemingly always rotating announce table, but the most consistent thing is Jim Ross in the main event.
-NXT
has this fun habit of editing matches from different tapings together
and not bothering to try to hide it. That's why you will sometimes have a
pink middle rope for one match and it won't be there for the next match
-Big
E. Langston refused to go to Raw with Vickie Guerrero so he waited for
AJ to invite him to go to Raw...after she lost power.
-The
insanely popular Paige, Emma, Audrey Marie and Sasha Banks are the only
four NXT Diva's and depending on the week Paige and Audrey are either
trying to team up to prove they are better than the WWE Diva's or
attacking each other.
-Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper and Rowan (Husky Harris, Brodie Lee and Erick Rowan) have formed a weird family.
-Kassius
Ohno and Leo Kruger have formed an alliance and seemed determined to
get William Regal to drop the headset and get in the ring.
-Camacho desperately needs $5,000 to break Hunico out of Mexico. Are plane tickets really that expensive?
And that's everything you need to know about NXT. (Now we know!) (And knowing is half the battle) (G.I. Joe!)
-During
the open video package we quickly cut away to the arena where carnage
has broken out! The Shield has taken over the ring and is administering a
vicious beat down to two guys who were in the ring for the first match!
They are causing havoc here on NXT!
Dusty
Rhodes came out to tell them to stop, but Dean Ambrose said they have
broken more legs and shattered more glass ceilings quicker than anyone
else in wrestling history.
NXT Champion Seth Rollins said they have taken over NXT and there is nothing they can do about it.
Dusty told him he has a match tonight, defending the NXT Title against Corey Graves.
Dean
told Dusty that nobody tells them what to do. Dusty said that when they
are in his house he will tell them what to do and if Seth does not
defend the title tonight he will be stripped of it.
Seth said he will face Corey tonight, but told Dusty to be careful what to wish for.
Roman told Dusty this may be Dusty's house, but he is paying The Shield's rent.
1.)
Bo Dallas defeated Epico (w/Primo) in 5:05. Sadly Rosa Mendes did not
make a trip to Orlando with Orlando Colon, so he was forced to bring
Primo with him. Bo hasn't been seen in two weeks since Big Show knocked
him the fuck out. The fans were so into this one that they started by
chanting “We want Rosa!” I don't think I have ever seen Epico do a
singles match and he works just fine. Bo fought out of an Epico back
breaker, but took a twisting spinning bump off of a really nice
dropkick. Bo decided it was time to be happy to be punched in the face,
so he literally encouraged Epico to do it several times before taking
over. Bo hit a wacky power slam, followed by the Spear for the win.
-After
the match Primo ran in to check on his brother. It was a swerve of a
swerve as Bo turned his back and Primo...did not attack. However like
the nice guys they are, they let Bo turn around before they cornered
him. Who came out to save Bo from a potential beating? Sigh. Michael
McGillicutty.
2.)
Tamina pinned Sasha Banks in 2:47. Tamina appears to have lost her last
name. Looking at Sasha before the match I don't think I have ever seen
anyone so ready to get their ass kicked. Apparently there is a
tremendous amount of hype behind Sasha. Not sure why. Anyhoo, Sasha got a
token amount of offense, but generally got her ass kicked and Tamina
pinned her after a Superfly Splash.
3.)
Kassius Ohno and Leo Kruger beat Tyson Kidd & Justin Gabriel in
8:01. This should be a fucking good match. Gabriel had the wackiest
blind tag ever, as he had to reach all the way around Ohno in order to
tap Kidd. The faces tag in and out quickly, getting a series of two
counts on Kruger. Mr. Regal asked Tony Luftman if this is the first time
Kruger and Ohno tagged and Luftman went off on this spiel about wanting
to impress the WWE Universe. Kidd and Gabriel hit a series of dives to
both men on the outside, which took us to commercial. Back from the
break Kruger downed Kidd with an impressive Spinebuster after Ohno
distracted Tyson. The heels took turns giving a right beating to the
most recent last graduate of the Hart dungeon. I wonder what Chris
Jericho would say about that. Or Stu Hart. Kidd fought his way to the
corner like his life depended on it and made the big tag to Gabriel. A
four way brawl broke out and Kruger managed to pin Gabriel with the
flipping neck breaker. That was a fine, fine match.
4.)
Corey Graves defeated NXT Champion Seth Rollins by disqualification in
4:41, so Rollins retains the title. Two heels squaring off for the gold.
Rollins has no theme music. Not his normal theme or The Shield theme we
had at TLC. The match starts out with a hell of a brawl as they stood
facing each other and just pounded away on one another. Graves got two
quick two counts off of a small package and a backslide. Rollins gets a
few blows in, but Graves explodes out of the corner with a clothesline.
Neither man wrestled as a baby face in this one. They were trying to
out-heel one another. Depending on when this was taped, this may have
been Rollins first match as a heel in WWE. Graves worked on Seth's knee
and quickly slapped on his reverse figure four! We are gonna have a new
champion! But here comes The Shield! Reigns and Ambrose run in to save
Rollins' championship!
-After
the match the three of them continue to beat on Graves, so Dusty Rhodes
sent out the locker room, who The Shield overpowered and beat down each
of them! Yoshi Tatsu and Alex Riley are out there, as are Tyson Kidd
and Justin Gabriel, but The Shield destroyed all of them! They nail the
Triple Powerbomb on Bo Dallas. Who can stop The Shield?
OUT
COMES BIG E. LANGSTON! Big walks right into the pit of fire as the fans
chant “five!” at him. The Shield backs up to let Big into the
ring...and then The Shield steps out and leaves! Reigns, Rollins and
Ambrose destroyed everyone on the roster and was run off by one man and
that man never had to lift a finger.
-Dusty
finishes the show by announcing that next week Seth will defend the
championship against Big E. Langston! Well that took long enough.
-That
is it for this week. Everything involving the Shield was really good
and everything else was filler. Some of it (Kidd/Gabriel vs Ohno/Kruger)
was good filler, but filler nonetheless.
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