2.14 Impact Wrestling
by Jeff Hamlin ( hamlin37@hotmail.com) Twitter: @hamlin37
The Big News: The best of the three England shows so far, but it in the end it really was pointless. The whole buildup of the show was to determine who would wrestle Jeff Hardy for the TNA World title at Lockdown. There were four singles matches, but no number one contender named because of an Aces and Eights run-in at the end. it's clear that Bully Ray is the favored son in a storyline that's ripped off directly from real life and you-know-who from the other company. Overall, this was the most entertaining Impact of the young year.
Hulk Hogan came out to a great reception from the Wembley Arena crowd. He announced the number one contender for Lockdown would be determined tonight with four different singles matches. James Storm would face Rob Van Dam, Christopher Daniels vs. Magnus, Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle (big pop), and Bobby Roode would face Austin Aries in a battle of tag team champions. Taz was upset not one Aces and Eights member wasn't among the top eight. Aside from Devon, the whole group has done nothing but jobs lately. Even Mike Tenay pointed that out. Taz must've been cool with the fact Shane Carwin was the 10th-ranked heavyweight in UFC even though he hasn't won a match in two years. At the end of the night, Hogan would pick the number one contender. Hogan said Aces and Eights had challenged the entire TNA roster for a Lethal Lockdown match at Lockdown, so Hogan had already picked his captain. He introduced Sting, who he called the greatest wrestler of all time. That was such a lie I was offended. Sting said he would scout the entire roster over the next few weeks to determine his three partners for the match and delivered Hogan's catchphrase.
Magnus defeated Christopher Daniels in 5:05: Magnus couldn't have a better night in terms of an opponent making him look major league, or a crowd ready to make him a star. Kazarian interfered freely at ringside, leading to Daniels hitting an STO. When Magnus made his comeback, he also knocked Kazarian off the apron. The referee ejected Kazarian from ringside, and Magnus threw he manager's license into the crowd. Taz said that Kazarian was out $20. Magnus got the pin after a Michonoku Driver and a Randy Savage elbow. **
Bully Ray rested his head on Brooke Hogan's lap saying that an injury has stopped him from competing for the world title. He apparently injured his quad during last week's tables match, which is something his father-in-law forgot to acknowledge in the opening segment. Seemed like that would be a priority since Ray is family now and all. But Ray cheered himself up by saying it was Valentine's Day, so they weren't going to mope around. So he promised to buy her a new pair of shoes and go out for dinner. I hope it's shorter than the pair she was wearing in this skit, because she looked at him eye-to-eye. Which may not be so bad, but still.
Magnus did a good promo about how pro wrestling was how he's made his living since he was 19 years old, and it was taken away from him for three months by Aces and Eights. It seems like this has become an annual tradition where I write how Magnus is underutilized for two weeks, and then he largely disappears until the next European trip. Hopefully, that's not the case this year.
2. Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe fought to a no contest after an Aces and Eights run-in in 12:35. Angle did a recorded promo inserted during his ring entrance denouncing the IOC's decision to drop wrestling from the Olympics. Taz and Tenay echoed his sentiments. The usual excellent match between these two. The highlight was an exchange of submissions after Angle three German suplexes. Angle hit a rare Missile Dropkick and the Olympic Slam, but Joe no sold it and applied the Kokina Clutch. Angle escaped that by ramming Joe into the corner and clamped down the ankle lock, which Joe struggled with for several minutes before sending Angle into the corner. They clotheslined each other, and as they tried to get up, Garrett Bischoff and Wes Brisco ran in to attack them. Angle sent Brisco away with forearms and Joe knocked Bischoff to ringside with head butts. Joe and Angle shook hands following the bell. ***
Dixie Carter talked with members of British Bootcamp, three of whom would be wrestling tonight. None of them were identified, and Dixie didn't call them by name. She looked as lost trying to identify them as she did last week on Bellator when Jimmy Smith asked her who would win the Alexander Shlemenko-Maiquel Falco fight. She was talking with Party Marty and the Blossom Twins, who are identical twins Hannah and Holly.
3. Gail Kim, Tara, Jessie Godderz defeated Party Marty and the Blossom Twins in a six-person mixed tag in 11:26. It's pretty scary that the Blossom Twins are better than any other Knockouts tag team in company history, at least in terms of high spots. Hannah and Holly looked pretty good, and Gail Kim and Tara were the right opponents to get their moves over. Marty was passable, though his role was reduced. Late in the match, he hit a plancha on Jesse Godderz. Then came time for a tope, and Marty totally wiped out, hitting his head on the floor. Jesse didn't catch him, which wasn't completely his fault. The only problem with wrestling in England is the barricades have these support handles facing the ring as opposed to facing the fans, so wrestlers risk getting a steel rod to their back by making catches on dives. None of the announcers could differentiate between Hannah or Holly, but one of them gave the other a Manhattan Drop onto Kim for a near fall. After Marty's airball of a tope, Kim pinned Hannah or Holly with Eat Defeat. In their first TNA match, the Blossom Twins looked better than the Rhaka Kahns or Jenna Morascas of years past ever did. **
Postmatch, Kim ran down referee Taryn Terrell, then challenged Tara to a Knockouts title match next week in London. Brooke Hogan came out (I guess that night on the town with Bully had to wait), agreed to give Kim a shot at the title. But Miss Tessmacher and Velvet Sky would also be involved, so it would be a four-way elimination match, with Brooke watching the match at ringside. Seems to be an Aces and Eights run-in waiting to happen.
Aries and Roode vowed that Hogan wouldn't divide them. Aries said they would win all the singles titles, with Aries saying that Roode could win the TV title and the X Division title. Roode said that Aries could take the TV title. These segments are amusing, but why bury titles that way? On the other hand, when was the last time the TV title was defended. Anyway, Aries and Roode argued mildly before vowing to take care of business.
4. James Storm defeated Rob Van Dam in 5:48. The usual array of big moves from Van Dam with almost no transition between moves. Van Dam attempted a Van Terminator for the first time in ages, but missed. That set up Storm for the Last Call and the pin. Now that we're down to four pay-per-views, does the gimmick where the X Division Champion gets to cash in the championship for a World Title Shot at Destination X still count? Will that be on a taped PPV or a live one during the summer, or forgotten altogether? *3/4
Joseph Park walked into Hogan's office and interrupted a conversation between Brooke and Hulk. Park wanted to politic for a chance for Jeff Hardy and the world title. Park explained that he had had campaign posters and buttons already designed. Hogan asked him if he knew what backstage politics was, or if the boys had told him what backstage politics is. Park just assumed he thought that's what politics were. Then Hogan asked him if he knew what a rib is. Not a barbecue rib, but a rib. Park didn't, and Hogan suggested he should. Park asked if he could count on Hogan's vote. As many times as I think the Park gimmick has run its course, they find a new way to make it entertaining. Park and Hogan were golden in this segment.
Brooke pushed for Ray to get a shot at the world title even though he's not competing tonight. Hogan wasn't hearing it. Brooke explained that Ray is in this business because of Hogan. Hulk explained that he has to remain objective as the GM, but would take it under advisement.
5. Bobby Roode and Austin Aries went to a double countout in 13:46. This may have been the most entertaining double countout in history. Aries announced that they had come to an agreement before the match on who would win so they wouldn't destroy each other. So referee Brian Hebner rang the bell, and Roode and Aries started poking each other in the chest, just like Hogan did to Kevin Nash in 1999. Unlike Nash, neither one took a dive and started to get really mad. So after a minute of this, Aries said he would lay down for Roode. Of course, this led to Aries trying to get a backdoor cradle on
Roode after he covered him. So they wound up with a full-fledged match with each trying to get the pin while using the ropes, and various other heel tactics. Referee Brian Hebner took a bump, and it got even better. Roode brought a chair into the ring, but Hebner was about to get up. So Roode hit the chair on the canvas and fell to the mat to make it out like Aries had clocked him. Aries saw this and did the same thing. Hebner recovered, and both men claimed to Hebner they had been hit with chairs. The crowd was eating this up. Then Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez came out. They just can't win. Fans were so entertained by Roode and Aries, the faces actually got booed. Guerrero was wearing an Aries t-shirt, and Hernandez was wearing a Roode t-shirt. Aries and Roode started to go after them, but Hebner was counting them out. As the count reached eight, Aries tried to keep Roode from getting back in the ring until they were both counted out. A lot of fun. **1/2
Hogan talked to Sting about the difficult decision he had, and compared it to him and Sting ripping each other's heads off at Starrcade '97. Ugh. All I remember about that night was the fast count by Nick Patrick that never was and Hogan taking the worst bump into the railing I've ever seen.
Hogan went out to announce the number one contender. As Hogan was about to get the decision, Aces and Eights surrounded the ring until Ray came out with a chain. So one guy with a chain and a guy who can barely walk to the ring was enough to hold off six guys until Sting came out with his Cricket bat. We never got an announcement for the number one contender.
SUMMARY: The last segment was a disappointment. But there's a larger problem with things regarding Aces and Eights. In terms of main event factions, Aces and Eights ranks behind the old Dungeon of Doom in 1995 WCW. As lame as those skits introducing the members were, the group had a purpose: to destroy Hulk Hogan. And they had a budding star that people took seriously: The Giant (aka The Big Show). And when the time for the group came and went, they had an escape plan for them to drift away. The purpose of Aces and Eights' involvement in the company hasn't been determined. They had a chance to develop a new star, but Doc jobbed to 53-year-old Sting at Genesis. Mike Knox doesn't even have a name. The angle is past its expiration date, but its clearly not ending because Eric Bischoff has to be revealed as the higher power. And there's no proof that Bischoff will have an escape plan when the time is right, which was really months ago. Still, this was a good show with good wrestling. And the Roode-Aries stuff was tremendous.
by Jeff Hamlin ( hamlin37@hotmail.com) Twitter: @hamlin37
The Big News: The best of the three England shows so far, but it in the end it really was pointless. The whole buildup of the show was to determine who would wrestle Jeff Hardy for the TNA World title at Lockdown. There were four singles matches, but no number one contender named because of an Aces and Eights run-in at the end. it's clear that Bully Ray is the favored son in a storyline that's ripped off directly from real life and you-know-who from the other company. Overall, this was the most entertaining Impact of the young year.
Hulk Hogan came out to a great reception from the Wembley Arena crowd. He announced the number one contender for Lockdown would be determined tonight with four different singles matches. James Storm would face Rob Van Dam, Christopher Daniels vs. Magnus, Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle (big pop), and Bobby Roode would face Austin Aries in a battle of tag team champions. Taz was upset not one Aces and Eights member wasn't among the top eight. Aside from Devon, the whole group has done nothing but jobs lately. Even Mike Tenay pointed that out. Taz must've been cool with the fact Shane Carwin was the 10th-ranked heavyweight in UFC even though he hasn't won a match in two years. At the end of the night, Hogan would pick the number one contender. Hogan said Aces and Eights had challenged the entire TNA roster for a Lethal Lockdown match at Lockdown, so Hogan had already picked his captain. He introduced Sting, who he called the greatest wrestler of all time. That was such a lie I was offended. Sting said he would scout the entire roster over the next few weeks to determine his three partners for the match and delivered Hogan's catchphrase.
Magnus defeated Christopher Daniels in 5:05: Magnus couldn't have a better night in terms of an opponent making him look major league, or a crowd ready to make him a star. Kazarian interfered freely at ringside, leading to Daniels hitting an STO. When Magnus made his comeback, he also knocked Kazarian off the apron. The referee ejected Kazarian from ringside, and Magnus threw he manager's license into the crowd. Taz said that Kazarian was out $20. Magnus got the pin after a Michonoku Driver and a Randy Savage elbow. **
Bully Ray rested his head on Brooke Hogan's lap saying that an injury has stopped him from competing for the world title. He apparently injured his quad during last week's tables match, which is something his father-in-law forgot to acknowledge in the opening segment. Seemed like that would be a priority since Ray is family now and all. But Ray cheered himself up by saying it was Valentine's Day, so they weren't going to mope around. So he promised to buy her a new pair of shoes and go out for dinner. I hope it's shorter than the pair she was wearing in this skit, because she looked at him eye-to-eye. Which may not be so bad, but still.
Magnus did a good promo about how pro wrestling was how he's made his living since he was 19 years old, and it was taken away from him for three months by Aces and Eights. It seems like this has become an annual tradition where I write how Magnus is underutilized for two weeks, and then he largely disappears until the next European trip. Hopefully, that's not the case this year.
2. Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe fought to a no contest after an Aces and Eights run-in in 12:35. Angle did a recorded promo inserted during his ring entrance denouncing the IOC's decision to drop wrestling from the Olympics. Taz and Tenay echoed his sentiments. The usual excellent match between these two. The highlight was an exchange of submissions after Angle three German suplexes. Angle hit a rare Missile Dropkick and the Olympic Slam, but Joe no sold it and applied the Kokina Clutch. Angle escaped that by ramming Joe into the corner and clamped down the ankle lock, which Joe struggled with for several minutes before sending Angle into the corner. They clotheslined each other, and as they tried to get up, Garrett Bischoff and Wes Brisco ran in to attack them. Angle sent Brisco away with forearms and Joe knocked Bischoff to ringside with head butts. Joe and Angle shook hands following the bell. ***
Dixie Carter talked with members of British Bootcamp, three of whom would be wrestling tonight. None of them were identified, and Dixie didn't call them by name. She looked as lost trying to identify them as she did last week on Bellator when Jimmy Smith asked her who would win the Alexander Shlemenko-Maiquel Falco fight. She was talking with Party Marty and the Blossom Twins, who are identical twins Hannah and Holly.
3. Gail Kim, Tara, Jessie Godderz defeated Party Marty and the Blossom Twins in a six-person mixed tag in 11:26. It's pretty scary that the Blossom Twins are better than any other Knockouts tag team in company history, at least in terms of high spots. Hannah and Holly looked pretty good, and Gail Kim and Tara were the right opponents to get their moves over. Marty was passable, though his role was reduced. Late in the match, he hit a plancha on Jesse Godderz. Then came time for a tope, and Marty totally wiped out, hitting his head on the floor. Jesse didn't catch him, which wasn't completely his fault. The only problem with wrestling in England is the barricades have these support handles facing the ring as opposed to facing the fans, so wrestlers risk getting a steel rod to their back by making catches on dives. None of the announcers could differentiate between Hannah or Holly, but one of them gave the other a Manhattan Drop onto Kim for a near fall. After Marty's airball of a tope, Kim pinned Hannah or Holly with Eat Defeat. In their first TNA match, the Blossom Twins looked better than the Rhaka Kahns or Jenna Morascas of years past ever did. **
Postmatch, Kim ran down referee Taryn Terrell, then challenged Tara to a Knockouts title match next week in London. Brooke Hogan came out (I guess that night on the town with Bully had to wait), agreed to give Kim a shot at the title. But Miss Tessmacher and Velvet Sky would also be involved, so it would be a four-way elimination match, with Brooke watching the match at ringside. Seems to be an Aces and Eights run-in waiting to happen.
Aries and Roode vowed that Hogan wouldn't divide them. Aries said they would win all the singles titles, with Aries saying that Roode could win the TV title and the X Division title. Roode said that Aries could take the TV title. These segments are amusing, but why bury titles that way? On the other hand, when was the last time the TV title was defended. Anyway, Aries and Roode argued mildly before vowing to take care of business.
4. James Storm defeated Rob Van Dam in 5:48. The usual array of big moves from Van Dam with almost no transition between moves. Van Dam attempted a Van Terminator for the first time in ages, but missed. That set up Storm for the Last Call and the pin. Now that we're down to four pay-per-views, does the gimmick where the X Division Champion gets to cash in the championship for a World Title Shot at Destination X still count? Will that be on a taped PPV or a live one during the summer, or forgotten altogether? *3/4
Joseph Park walked into Hogan's office and interrupted a conversation between Brooke and Hulk. Park wanted to politic for a chance for Jeff Hardy and the world title. Park explained that he had had campaign posters and buttons already designed. Hogan asked him if he knew what backstage politics was, or if the boys had told him what backstage politics is. Park just assumed he thought that's what politics were. Then Hogan asked him if he knew what a rib is. Not a barbecue rib, but a rib. Park didn't, and Hogan suggested he should. Park asked if he could count on Hogan's vote. As many times as I think the Park gimmick has run its course, they find a new way to make it entertaining. Park and Hogan were golden in this segment.
Brooke pushed for Ray to get a shot at the world title even though he's not competing tonight. Hogan wasn't hearing it. Brooke explained that Ray is in this business because of Hogan. Hulk explained that he has to remain objective as the GM, but would take it under advisement.
5. Bobby Roode and Austin Aries went to a double countout in 13:46. This may have been the most entertaining double countout in history. Aries announced that they had come to an agreement before the match on who would win so they wouldn't destroy each other. So referee Brian Hebner rang the bell, and Roode and Aries started poking each other in the chest, just like Hogan did to Kevin Nash in 1999. Unlike Nash, neither one took a dive and started to get really mad. So after a minute of this, Aries said he would lay down for Roode. Of course, this led to Aries trying to get a backdoor cradle on
Roode after he covered him. So they wound up with a full-fledged match with each trying to get the pin while using the ropes, and various other heel tactics. Referee Brian Hebner took a bump, and it got even better. Roode brought a chair into the ring, but Hebner was about to get up. So Roode hit the chair on the canvas and fell to the mat to make it out like Aries had clocked him. Aries saw this and did the same thing. Hebner recovered, and both men claimed to Hebner they had been hit with chairs. The crowd was eating this up. Then Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez came out. They just can't win. Fans were so entertained by Roode and Aries, the faces actually got booed. Guerrero was wearing an Aries t-shirt, and Hernandez was wearing a Roode t-shirt. Aries and Roode started to go after them, but Hebner was counting them out. As the count reached eight, Aries tried to keep Roode from getting back in the ring until they were both counted out. A lot of fun. **1/2
Hogan talked to Sting about the difficult decision he had, and compared it to him and Sting ripping each other's heads off at Starrcade '97. Ugh. All I remember about that night was the fast count by Nick Patrick that never was and Hogan taking the worst bump into the railing I've ever seen.
Hogan went out to announce the number one contender. As Hogan was about to get the decision, Aces and Eights surrounded the ring until Ray came out with a chain. So one guy with a chain and a guy who can barely walk to the ring was enough to hold off six guys until Sting came out with his Cricket bat. We never got an announcement for the number one contender.
SUMMARY: The last segment was a disappointment. But there's a larger problem with things regarding Aces and Eights. In terms of main event factions, Aces and Eights ranks behind the old Dungeon of Doom in 1995 WCW. As lame as those skits introducing the members were, the group had a purpose: to destroy Hulk Hogan. And they had a budding star that people took seriously: The Giant (aka The Big Show). And when the time for the group came and went, they had an escape plan for them to drift away. The purpose of Aces and Eights' involvement in the company hasn't been determined. They had a chance to develop a new star, but Doc jobbed to 53-year-old Sting at Genesis. Mike Knox doesn't even have a name. The angle is past its expiration date, but its clearly not ending because Eric Bischoff has to be revealed as the higher power. And there's no proof that Bischoff will have an escape plan when the time is right, which was really months ago. Still, this was a good show with good wrestling. And the Roode-Aries stuff was tremendous.
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