WWE Raw 18-02 TV report

WWE Monday Night Raw

February 18, 2013

Lafayette, LA

Robert McCarron

WrestleMania Countdown: 48 Days

John Cena Risks His Spot

John Cena opened tonight's Raw in a glorious mood, so I assume his team won last night at Elimination Chamber. Hmm? No, he lost? Oh. Well that's all forgotten, because we're now on the road to WrestleMania! Cena reminded everyone that the two title matches for Mania are set, but his mentioning of Rock vs Cena brought out CM Punk. Punk came out with Paul Heyman tonight. The two men stood toe to toe. Punk complained that Rock should have been DQ'd last night for striking a ref, and said Cena is taking the easy way out by facing Rock at Mania, because Cena can't beat Punk. They came back to the story that John can't win the big one, with Punk calling Cena out for losing to Rock last year and winning a worthless battle royal to get his shot this year. This led Cena to offer Punk a match next week, so that Cena can prove that he can beat him. Cena vs Punk for the title shot at Mania was made for next week.

Backstage, The Ryback and Sheamus came face to face about their match last night. Jericho broke the two up. He compared Shield to Nexus and nWo, but greater. Jericho pulled the two together so that they could save the WWE from the Shield.

Mark Henry Mocks Khali's Dancing

Mark Henry destroyed Sin Cara. Sin Cara hit a kick at one point, but that was the extent of his offense. Henry won with the World's Strongest Slam. After the not so competitive battle, Henry was going for another Slam on Sin Cara until Great Khali walked gingerly to the ring to make the save. Henry bailed, and laughed Khali off as he walked to the back.

Fandango is coming. Presumably by 2016.

Miz vs Cesaro

Miz beat Antonio Cesaro with the figure four in a No DQ match. Chairs came into play, leading to the finish. A chair was wedged in the corner behind Miz, and Cesaro charged in. Miz moved, Cesaro's knee hit the chair, and he was put in the figure four and tapped due to the pain.

Taped segment. Zeb Colter ran down immigrants for stealing jobs and seeking handouts. Youtube.com/wethepeoplezeb as Zeb's soapbox was promoted.

Backstage, Daniel Bryan was angry with Kane. Bryan didn't want Kane to come out with him for his match with Jack Swagger later. Kane said he'd find an opponent and didn't want Bryan out there, either. Kane doesn't like snakes, so this brought in Randy Orton. Orton mocked Kane for trading in piledrivers and chokeslams for hugs and therapy. Orton vs Kane is set for later.

Backstage, Paul Heyman and Vickie Guerrero chat. Vickie sarcastically congratulated Heyman for putting in the DQ title loss stips in the Rock vs Punk match last night. Vickie had an announcement for Heyman later tonight.

Dolph Ziggler Loses Another One

Alberto Del Rio beat Dolph Ziggler in a non-title match. Fast paced action in this one, and both were on the same page so it was a crisp match. AJ and Big E were at ringside. Big E played a small part in the match, taking a shot at Del Rio when the ref wasn't looking at one point. The two traded nearfalls late until finally Del Rio locked in the armbar to submit Dolph. After the match, Big E attacked Del Rio and gave him his finish. Dolph wanted to cash in the briefcase, but Ricardo stole it. Big E gave chase, causing Ricardo to drop the briefcase. AJ retrieved it, gave it to Dolph, who then turned around into an enziguri from Del Rio who had since recovered from Big E's attack. No cash in, and Del Rio celebrated his win.

Wade Barrett was in the ring, and played the trailer for "Dead Man Down." Apparently Wade is in this movie, although he was barely in the trailer. Sheamus came on the tron, and ruined Wade's special moment. And...that was it.

The Dancing Bears

Tensai, Brodus Clay, and Naomi took on Primo, Epico, and Rosa. And by took on, I mean squashed. Naomi hit a flying head scissors on Epico, leaving Primo to get squashed by a combo splash from Clay and Tensai for the pin.

WrestleMania XXX will be held in the Mercedes Benz Superdome in New Orleans.

Zeb & Jack's State of the Union

Jack put the weight of this nation upon his shoulders last night. He gave way to Zeb for the state of the union. The state of our union is pathetic, according to Zeb, due to the millions of people in this country living here illegally. I hate racist Swagger. This guy should be a near Brock-level world beater. Oh well. Zeb talked a bit about standing up for the country, which is what Jack Swagger will do by beating Alberto Del Rio. Zeb said that Swagger will accomplish two goals at WrestleMania. Beat Del Rio for the title, and recapture America. Yep, Swagger is going to recapture America. We the people.

Daniel Bryan came out for his match with Swagger. The two had a competitive match, lasting a good amount of time. Bryan missed a running charge into the corner towards the end, selling an ankle injury which gave Swagger an opening to work the injury. Swagger beat the injured Bryan, finishing him with the Patriot Act. By the way, Swagger has new music that he debuted last night.

Vickie Guerreo's Announcement

Vickie and Paul Heyman came out. Vickie has a life changing announcement for the man. She announced that Brad Maddox is now the Assistant to the Managing Supervisor of Raw. OH YAY~! I hope Brad never wrestles. I just want him to come out with his sweater clad self and smile week after week. You'll all be better off for it. Vickie and Brad did an Office rub, arguing over Assistant Managing Supervisor vs Assistant to the Managing Supervisor. Vince returned! Vince, via satellite, appeared to give Heyman his real surprise. Vince announced that next week he would appear live, and he and Heyman would fight. Crowd didn't know how to react. That won't end well for one of them. Or both.

The Shield's Raw Debut

Why does poor Roman always have to walk down to the ring by himself? Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Roman Reigns are making their Raw competitive debut against Chris Jericho, Sheamus, and Ryback. For the first two minutes of the match, Jerry Lawler mixed up Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins. That was fun. This match wasn't as quickly paced as last night's PayPerView bout, but that wasn't all bad. The lack of shaky camera bullshit was a nice change of pace. After months of being a beast, Roman was pretty much manhandled by Sheamus pretty easily when they were in together. Also, after this match, I can safely state that Jerry Lawler doesn't remember much of what happened at the PPV last night at all, as he was botching stuff left and right. The end saw Rollins come off the top rope to land a knee to Jericho's head, as Jericho had Ambrose in the Walls of Jericho. Ambrose covered Y2J for the pin, to better Shield's record to 3-0 on WWE programming.

Sandow vs Kofi

The match never began, as Sandow attacked Kofi and beat him up before the bell could be rung. R-Truth came back to help Kofi. Two legendary tag teams reunite!? Kofi & Truth vs Sandow & Rhodes may be on the horizon.

Another Fandango promo aired, so I'm assuming this means his debut has been pushed up to at least 2014.

Okay, pretty sure Jerry Lawler is high tonight. Forgetting names, forgetting matches from last night, and now he's taking like Fandango.

Randy Orton vs Kane

It is way too late in the show for anyone to care about this match. Kane was setting up for his chokeslam when Daniel Bryan walked to the ring, defying Kane's request that he stay away. That distracted Kane, and Orton hit the RKO for the win. Bryan was disappointed at ringside in his partner.

Next, we had marching band foolishness. The Rock was played to the ring by the Pride of Whateverthehell, some marching band from the University of Louisiana-Lafayette.

The Rock Championship Celebration

Rock debuted a new belt. It's the same belt that was leaked in photos early last year that many people thought would be for Punk. It's ugly. But, lots of diamonds, so whatever. Rock was about to say who he hoped to wrestle at Mania when John Cena came out. Cena walked  out of the curtain, but was attacked from behind by Punk. Punk hit Cena with the old belt that Rock discarded. Punk then threw that belt down, and pointed to the Rock and said he wanted the new belt.

At least Jerry Lawler remembered the Rock's name.