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martedì 12 marzo 2013

COMPLETE WWE RAW REPORT: TRIBUTE TO PAUL BEARER; IS HHH VS. LESNAR HAPPENING?; RYBACK AND MARK HENRY FIND A NEW TOY; TWO DIVAS RETURN; AT THE MOVIES; AND MORE


PREVIOUSLY on Raw, Triple H made a challenge to Brock Lesnar for one more match at Wrestlemania. We saw that The Shield is vulnerable. We saw the New Age Outlaws prove that they might be Old School, but they can beat Nueva Escuela Primo y Epico. The Undertaker made his return and we found out that CM Punk is the man who will get a chance to prevent Undertaker from going 21 for 21 at the Biggest Show of the Year.
What will happen when the reunited New Age Outlaws face the reunited Rhodes Scholars? Will CM Punk use the passing of Paul Bearer to up the ante for his match with Undertaker? Will Brock Lesnar (or Paul Heyman) accept Triple H’s challenge?
We are in Indianapolis, Indiana and your announcers are Michael ‘Gene Keady is jealous of Donald Trump’s hair’ Cole and Jerry ‘Larry Bird’ Lawler.
Justin Roberts has everyone rise to pay tribute to Paul Bearer and they show a video package remembering his time in WWE.
After the video, we get the gong and Undertaker makes his way to the ring. Undertaker kneels before an urn in the ring to pay tribute to Paul with the graphic on the TitanTron.
Until CM Punk’s music plays and the Undertaker looks like Paul might have someone visiting him very soon.
Punk wants everyone to simmer down. Everyone misunderstands why he is out here. Punk says that he wanted to extend his heartfelt condolences. He wants to extend his apologizes for Taker’s loss. . . at Wrestlemania.
The silver lining in all of this tragedy is that to Paul Bearer, Taker will be perfect. He will be 20-0. To everyone else, in four weeks, he will be 20 and 1. The night after Wrestlemania, we won’t be paying any heartfelt tributes to Paul Bearer. They will be showing a video of him. In fifty years, people will be asking where you were when CM Punk beat the streak.
Punk walks to the back.
Big Show is talking down to a production assistant in the back as we go to commercial.
We are back and we see footage during the commercial break when CM Punk was confronted by Kane who grabbed Punk by the throat and he tried to choke slam Punk off the stage but Punk was able to escape.
Kane is walking through the back and he is breaking a lot of stuff. Kane goes into the locker room to look for CM Punk. Kane attacks Alex Riley in the locker room.
Match Number One: Big Show versus Seth Rollins (with Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose)
Show sends Rollins into the corner and he kicks Seth a few times. Show with an Irish whip but he misses a splash into the corner. Show sends Rollins to the mat. Seth with kicks but Show pushes him down again. Show sidesteps Rollins and Seth goes through the ropes and into Ambrose. Show attacks Reigns on the floor.
No Contest
All three members of the Shield attack Show and they call for the bell. Ambrose and Rollins hold Show for Reigns but he runs into a boot from Show.
Ambrose kicks Show in the ring and he tries for a DDT but Show pushes Ambrose away. Show catches Rollins as he comes off the turnbuckles. Show sets for a choke slam but Reigns with a spear and they attack Show. Seth and Dean pick up a lifeless Show and they hit the Cerberus Power Bomb.
Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox are in Vickie’s office and CM Punk wants to know who is in charge because of what Kane did to him. He is facing the Undertaker, not Kane.
Vickie tells Punk that he has desecrated the memory of Paul Bearer and tonight Punk will have to face Kane in a No Disqualification Match.
We see footage from Friday night when Ricardo Rodriguez got AJ Lee wet at ringside. Then we see Daniel Bryan reminding AJ about their relationship.
We are back and we see Paul Bearer’s introduction to the Undertaker in February 1991 on Superstars.
Match Number Two: Daniel Bryan versus Dolph Ziggler (with AJ Lee and Big E Langston)
They lock up and Ziggler with a wrist lock and Bryan reverses and takes Ziggler to the mat. Bryan tries for an arm bar but he applies a side head lock. Bryan with a shoulder tackle and then he takes Ziggler down when Dolph tries for a leap frog. Bryan sets for a surfboard and he applies it but Ziggler gets loose.
Bryan with a European uppercut but Ziggler with a drop kick for a near fall. Ziggler sends Bryan into the turnbuckles and punches Daniel. Bryan with kicks to Ziggler in the corner and the referee tries to separate them. Bryan with an Irish whip and drop kick into the corner for a near fall.
Bryan continues to work on the shoulder and he tries to take Ziggler to the mat. Bryan stomps on Ziggler’s elbow on the mat. Ziggler with a kick and then he charges at Bryan but Ziggler is back body dropped over the top rope to the floor. Langston gets on the apron to stop the Daniel Bryan suicide dive. We go to commercial.
We are back and Ziggler with a headstand while he has Bryan in a reverse chin lock. Ziggler with a kick and he tries for a drop kick but Bryan blocks it and he catapults Ziggler into the turnbuckles. Ziggler with an Irish whip but Bryan flips out of the corner and he hits a flying clothesline. Bryan runs into a boot and Ziggler tries for a sleeper but Bryan with a snap mare. Bryan with an O’Connor Roll and he gets a near fall.
Bryan with a European uppercut and kicks to Ziggler. Bryan with a round kick to the head and he gets a near fall. Bryan goes up top for the missile drop kick but Ziggler recovers and crotches Bryan. Bryan escapes the turnbuckles and he crotches Ziggler. Bryan sets for a super belly-to-back suplex but Ziggler is able to counter into a lateral press and he gets a near fall.
Ziggler hot shots Bryan on the ropes and then hits the Fameasser and gets a near fall. Ziggler punches Bryan but Bryan tries for the No Lock. AJ gets on the apron and Langston pulls Ziggler to the ropes while the referee was distracted by AJ. Bryan gets distracted by going after Langston and Ziggler with a rollup for a near fall. Bryan misses a round kick and gets the three count after a Zig Zag.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
After the match, AJ kisses her current boyfriend while she stares a hole through her ex. The straps go down on Langston and he picks up Bryan and hits the Big Ending.
We go back to last week when Triple H challenged Brock Lesnar. We have a video package about the feud.
What will Brock Lesnar say? You will probably have an hour and 15 minutes to wait. We go to commercial.
We are back with the Slam of the Week: Honky Tonk Man hitting Heath Slater with his guitar.
Match Number Three: Tensai (with Brodus Clay and The Funkettes) versus Fandango
Tensai tells Fandango to get out now after Justin Roberts did his best to give the Full Faaaaaaaaaaaandaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaangoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Fandango tells Tensai that he mispronounced his name. On top of that, he is a disgrace to the world of dance. Even the people in the Midwest who don’t know anything about the world of arts would agree, that they are an abomination.
He will come to the ring when they get his name right.
He tells Joshua (or Justin) that it has to be spoken through the beautiful, sensual lips of the Funkadactyl Naomi. He tells Naomi that she is the only one with talent and she is better than all of that.
Tensai takes the mic from Naomi.
Fandango tells Tensai that he deprived everyone the chance to see a match with Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaandaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaangoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
It is time for some footage from the new G.I. Joe movie featuring The Rock.
We go to commercial.
We are back with more Paul Bearer Memories and we see Paul lead Undertaker to the ring at Wrestlemania 20.
Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes are in the ring and he says that the following interpretation comes to you from taste and good form.
Oh . . . you are not aware of this. Your posterior better contact someone at once.
Ladies and gentlemen, young people of all genders and ages, taste and decency proudly presents to you the reunited and best friends. The essence of mustachioed magnificence, the intellectual savior of the masses and future tag team champions of the world . . . The Rhodes Scholars.
If you’re not ‘Down’ with that . . . we have two words for you. You’re Welcome.
It is time for the grammatically incorrect version lead by the Road Dogg and Billy Gunn.
Road Dogg says that was very clever, but it is time to show them how it is done and he pays tribute to Percy.
Match Number Three: Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow versus Billy Gunn and Road Dogg
Cody and Road Dogg start things off and they lock up. Dogg with a wrist lock but Cody with a knee and forearm. James with jabs to Cody and then he gets some rhythm and he punches Rhodes> Sandow tries to interfere and he gets punched. Cody Rhodes hits the Beautiful Disaster and then Brock Lesnar’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring.
Cody and Damien get out of the ring and Brock does the Brock Bounce before getting into the ring. Gunn punches Lesnar but Lesnar hits the F-5 on Gunn. Lesnar waits for James to get up and it is F-5 time.
Paul Heyman wants to get it straight that Triple H wants Brock to know that the Game is on. Brock Lesnar does not play games. Brock Lesnar hurts people. Take for example the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels. Brock broke his arm. Take Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Brock broke him in half to the point where Stephanie McMahon had to watch her father get placed into an ambulance with tears running down her face.
What must that do to a man? Now the New Age Outlaws. The last traces of Degeneration X, laid out into oblivion with F-5s. Will Brock Lesnar fight Triple H at Wrestlemania . . .
The answer is YES. But . . . and there is a but attached to this. Brock will fight at Wrestlemania only if they get to name the stipulations. Brock won’t tell Hunter the stipulations until after Triple H signs the contract.
Now Triple H has to blindly accept Brock’s challenge or the Cerebral Assassin disappoints the WWE Universe, his wife, his children, and his father in law. Most of all, he will disappoint himself.
Paul kneels over Road Dogg and he says if he ain’t down with that, he has two words for him . . . BROCK LESNAR.
Match Number Four: Kofi Kingston versus Mark Henry
Kofi with punches to Henry but Mark with a head butt and elbow in the corner. Henry with a splash to the back in the corner. Henry with a bear hug and Kofi tries to escape with forearms. Henry runs Kofi into the corner and then he picks up Kofi for a running power slam but Kofi escapes. Henry kicks Kofi and Kofi goes across the ring and to the floor.
Henry waits for Kofi to get up and he tries for a splash into the post but Kofi moves and Mark moves the ring a few feet with the impact. Kofi with a forearm off the ring steps. Kofi goes up top as Mark returns to the ring. Mark catches Kofi on a cross body attempt and Mark with the World’s Strongest Slam for the three count.
Winner: Mark Henry
Cody and Kaitlyn are in catering and he says that he mustachio her a question and Kaitlyn snorts at the joke. Damien interrupts and he says that they have other plans. They have two more suitable companions. They are double any woman in the Divas Division. The Bellas return.
Kaitlyn says that she thought they were fired.
They say that they are back at the right time because the Divas division is so lacking.
Vickie tells Damien and Cody that they will be facing Sheamus and Randy Orton since their other match was cut short.
We take a look at Big Show’s appearance on this week’s episode of Psych.
Match Number Five: Ryback versus Heath Slater (versus Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre)
Mark Henry makes his way to the stage before they lock up and Slater uses that opportunity to attack Ryback but Ryback presses Slater over his head and drops him to the mat. Ryback with a shoulder tackle and lariat. Ryback with the marching muscle buster for the three count.
Winner: Ryback
After the match, Drew tries to attack Ryback but Ryback stops him and hits the marching muscle buster.
Mark Henry makes his way to the ring and he stares down Ryback and he hits the World’s Strongest Slam on Drew.
Ryback picks up Drew and gives him another marching muscle buster.
Mark with a second World’s Strongest Slam to Drew.
Ryback and Henry get face to face and they have something to say to each other.
Henry leaves the ring while they try to wipe up the spot that was known as Drew McIntyre.
Alberto Del Rio walks through the back with Ricardo Rodriguez and the bucket as we go to commercial.
We are back and it is time to talk about The Call, coming to a theater near you where you didn’t see Dead Man Down last weekend.
Alberto Del Rio is in the Goldman Box. He says that he was born in Mexico but he was made in America.
Match Number Six: Antonio Cesaro versus Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez) in a Champion versus Champion Match
They lock up and Cesaro with a hammer lock and he backs Del Rio into the corner and he kicks and punches him. Del Rio with boots to Cesaro followed by a rana. Del Rio is sent to the apron and Del Rio with a kick. Del Rio with a cross body from the top for a near fall. Del Rio with a kick to the leg and then he goes to the turnbuckles but Cesaro with a leg sweep to pull him off the turnbuckles.
Cesaro with kicks to Del Rio. Cesaro gets a near fall. Cesaro with knees and an Irish whip followed by a running European uppercut. Cesaro gets a near fall and follows with more elbow drops. Cesaro with a reverse chin lock. Cesaro with another knee to Del Rio but he misses a shoulder in the corner. Del Rio with two clotheslines and he avoids one from Cesaro and then Del Rio with a tilt-a-whirl back breaker. Del Rio with a super kick and he gets a near fall.
Cesaro with a kick and then Del Rio sends Cesaro to the apron and he hits a series of forearms followed by a lungblower for a near fall. Del Rio goes up top. Cesaro with a European uppercut to Del Rio as he comes off the turnbuckles and Cesaro gets a near fall. Cesaro with a boot to the head and then he tries for a dead lift German suplex but Del Rio hits the float over into the cross arm breaker and Cesaro taps out.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Kane is in the back and Josh Mathews asks him if this is a troubling time for him. Kane looks at Josh and he has an urn in his hands. Kane does not say anything and we go to commercial.
We are back with another Paul Bearer moment. The debut of Kane in 1997.
It is time to take a look at the Main Event at Wrestlemania between John Cena and The Rock: Legend versus Legacy.
Match Number Seven: Randy Orton and Sheamus versus Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow
Orton and Sandow lock up and Sandow with a side head lock. Orton with a back elbow to Sandow followed by a punch and suplex. Orton gets a near fall. Sheamus tags in and Orton with an Irish whip into a Sheamus slingshot shoulder tackle and Sheamus with a near fall. Sheamus works on the arm but Sandow with punches and Cody tags in.
Cody with kicks and punches followed by a forearm. Sheamus with a forearm to the head and then he gets Cody up for a rolling Finlay slam. Sheamus with a kick to the chest and then Sandow pulls down the ropes and Sheamus falls over the top rope to the floor. Sandow with a clothesline to Sheamus on the floor.
Cody rolls Sheamus back into the ring and gets a near fall. Sandow tags in and he punches Sheamus and connects with forearms to the chest followed by a knee drop for a near fall. Cody tags in and he kicks Sheamus. Cody with a running knee to the head for a near fall.
Cody with a rear chin lock. Sheamus with a short arm clothesline after blocking a hip toss. Orton tags in and he connects with two clotheslines. Cody misses a clothesline and Orton with a power slam. Orton looks around and then he hits an Exploder suplex for a near fall. Orton sends Cody to the apron and he tries for the IEDDT but Sandow pulls Cody to the floor.
Orton punches Sandow on the floor but Rhodes sends Orton face first into the ring post. Cody with a kick to Orton and then he punches Orton in the head. Sandow tags back in and he stomps on the chest while Cody holds him. Sandow with knees to the ribs followed by a knee drop and he gets a near fall. Sandow with a side Russian leg sweep followed by the Elbow of Disdain and Sandow gets a near fall.
Cody tags in and he punches Orton in the ribs and kicks him in the chest. Cody with a gourdbuster for a near fall. Cody goes up top but Orton stops Cody and crotches him. Orton goes to the turnbuckles and sets for a superplex and he hits it.
Sheamus makes the tag and so does Sandow. Sheamus with two running double sledges and then he connects with a shoulder in the corner and a running knee lift. Sheamus with forearms across the chest on the apron and then he brings Sandow back into the ring. Sheamus with White Noise and then he looks around for the moment to start for the Brogue Kick. Cody tries to stop Sheamus but Orton with an RKO. Sheamus with a Brogue Kick to Sandow for the three count.
Winners: Sheamus and Randy Orton
We go to commercial.
We are back and we see the Shield brawling with Sheamus and Randy Orton during commercial and Orton gets hit with a flying knee by Rollins off the stage while Reigns speared Sheamus.
It is time to see some Touts about Paul Bearer.
It is time for the return of the Highlight Reel and your host Chris Jericho.
Chris welcomes everyone to Raw is Jericho and the Highlight Reel. Chris comments on his jacket and wonders if it is working. Chris’ guest is the star of The Marine 3 and we see a clip.
Chris mentions that the Jeritron 6000 has disappeared.
Miz makes his way to the ring. He says that it is nice to be a guest and not a host. Chris says that he used to have more furniture but apparently there are some budget issues. Chris congratulates him on the success of his movie.
Another actor in a movie comes out and Wade Barrett asks if they are kidding him. Miz isn’t even a real actor. Wade says that his movie Dead Man Down opened in the top five in the box office. We take a look at a scene from the movie.
Wade says that is a movie and what they should be talking about.
Miz tries to sound like Wade and he says that we heard it for three weeks.
Wade comments on Miz’ accent. Wade says that he has rejected many offers from Hollywood because he is too busy being the Intercontinental Champion. He is too busy being Wade Barrett.
Miz and Wade go back and forth with reallys.
Miz says that Wade keeps bringing up his movie because he hasn’t won a match in weeks and it is only a matter of time before he loses the Intercontinental Title.
Jericho mocks the reallys and Wade threatens to shut up Jericho.
Jericho tells Wade that he is talking to the man who helped bring him into the company and he helped Wade win the first season of NXT. Barrett is a two time Intercontinental Champion. Jericho reminds Wade that he is a nine time Intercontinental Champion, more than anyone in the company. Maybe he will make it ten.
Brad Maddox comes out and tells them to stop acting like this on his show. Brad apologizes and he introduces himself. He says that he has a very exciting announcement from the team of Brickie. Since tensions are high, they need to chill out.
Wade will defend the Intercontinental Title next week against the winner of the match between The Miz and Chris Jericho.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Eight: Chris Jericho versus Miz in a Number One Contender Match for the Intercontinental Championship
The match is joined in progress and Jericho with a belly-to-back suplex. Jericho with a chin lock and he turns it into a sleeper. Miz with elbows followed by an Irish whip but he runs into a boot. Jericho tries for a bulldog but Miz sends Jericho into the turnbuckles. Jericho with shoulder tackles and then he goes up top and hits a forearm to the head.
Miz with a boot to the head and he gets a near fall. Jericho with chops but Miz with the first back breaker for the Reality Check but Jericho with a bulldog and he goes for the Lionsault but Miz gets his knees up. Miz tries for the Awesome Clothesline but Jericho blocks it and he tries for the Walls of Jericho but Miz powers out. Miz with a drop kick to the knees and he tries for the Figure Four. Jericho counters and tries for the Walls of Jericho. Miz with an inside cradle for a near fall.
Jericho applies the Walls of Jericho but Miz is able to get to the ropes. Miz rolls to the floor and Jericho follows. Jericho with a forearm to the back. Miz with an elbow and then Jericho sends Miz into Wade Barrett, who has joined Cole and Lawler on commentary. Barrett attacks Miz and Jericho and the referee calls for the bell.
No Contest
Jericho is sent into the ring but Jericho with a baseball slide to Barrett. Miz and Jericho send Barrett into the ring and Miz with the Skull Crushing Finale to Barrett. Jericho with a Codebreaker to Barrett.
Michael Cole mentions the YouTube videos that Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez did to parody Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter.
Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter are walking in the back and they are not happy as we go to commercial.
We are back with another Paul Bearer memory. Paul with Mr. Fuji and Nick Turturro
Zeb says that him and Jack are not in a good mood. There are big problems in this country and he is looking at one of them now. Mr. Sin Cara or is it Senor Sin Cara. For someone who did not have the decency to learn the language. The people are programmed to cheer him because he has a nice little entrance and he bounces around the ring like a nice little Mexican Jumping Bean. He says that people are thinking like him about Sin Cara. They know what he is. He is a thief. Every night, somewhere 365 nights a year there is a Sin Cara with his band of amigos sneaking across the border trying to take something from an American.
Zeb says that it is everyone’s fault that this is happening because nobody is saying anything about it. He is not afraid and Jack Swagger is not afraid.
Alberto Del Rio says that he was born in Mexico but made in America. The only thing that Alberto has made is make them aware. They are aware of how many things are wrong in this country.
Jack says that he will bring the World Title back where it belongs. He welcomes everyone to Jack Swagger’s America.
Match Number Nine: Jack Swagger (with Zeb Colter) versus Sin Cara
Cara with kicks to Swagger and a handspring back elbow. Swagger catches Cara but they both go over the top rope and Swagger goes to the floor. Cara with a baseball slide and then he hits a double jump cross body onto Swagger.
Swagger attacks the ring steps before returning to the ring. Cara with a kick and boots to Swagger. Cara tries for a sunset flip but Swagger blocks it. Cara with an enzuigiri and he goes for a springboard cross body but Swagger with a boot to the chest. Swagger starts to work on the leg. Swagger applies the ankle lock and Cara taps out.
Winner: Jack Swagger
After the match, Swagger refuses to release the hold and Del Rio comes to the ring and he goes after Swagger. Del Rio applies the cross arm breaker but Colter pulls Swagger out of the ring.
We go to an interview that Halle Berry did about The Call only to be interrupted by David Otunga and his travel mug of destiny. He says that he might have given someone her phone number. Halle gets another call and it is from Kane.
We are back with the WWE Rewind: CM Punk interrupting Undertaker’s Tribute to Paul Bearer and Kane’s reaction to it.
Punk makes his way to the ring but Paul Heyman is not with him.
Match Number Ten: CM Punk versus Kane (with urn) in a No Disqualification Match
Punk with a suicide dive onto Kane before the bell and then he punches Kane. Punk with kicks to Kane. Punk throws his shirt at the urn and then Kane with a running uppercut. Kane with knees to Punk and then he sends Punk into the ringside barrier.
Kane sends Punk into the ring post and then he hot shots Punk on the ringside barrier. Kane with a punch to Punk and then he sends him into the time keeper’s quadrant. Kane rearranges the announce table. Punk hits Kane with the ring bell. Punk with a double sledge from the ringside barrier and then he looks at the urn.
Kane hits Punk in the midsection with a monitor. Punk is hit with the top of the announce table. Kane with an elbow to the throat. They fight to the turnbuckles and Kane is knocked to the mat. Punk with an elbow drop and he gets a near fall. Punk with kicks to Kane followed by the running knee into the corner. He hits a second running knee into the corner and he goes for the bulldog but Kane stops him and Kane sends Punk over the top rope to the floor and we go to commercial.
We are back and Kane with an Irish whip and there is a chair in the ring. Punk with a boot to Kane and he hits a clothesline from the turnbuckles and gets a near fall. Punk picks up the chair and he wedges it into the turnbuckles. Punk with a forearm but Kane Irish whips Punk into the chair and Punk goes down on the apron. Kane with a clothesline followed by an Irish whip and clothesline. Kane with a second Irish whip and clothesline. It is time for the side slam and then Kane clotheslines Punk over the top rope to the floor. Kane sends Punk into the ringside barrier and then Kane throws chairs into the ring.
Kane sends Punk into the ring and Kane picks up a chair and then he drops it to the mat. Kane sets for a choke slam onto the chair but Punk counters with a DDT onto the chair and Punk rolls over to cover Kane but Kane is able to kick out at two. Punk hits Kane in the midsection with the chair and then he connects with a shot to the back. Punk mocks Taker but Kane blocks a chair shot and Kane grabs Punk by the throat. Punk with a round kick to the head.
The gong is sounded but it was a trap and Kane with a choke slam for the three count.
Winner: Kane
After the match, the lights go blue and Undertaker makes his way onto the stage. Kane and Taker kneel and pay tribute to Paul Bearer.
CM Punk hits Kane in the back of the head with the urn. He continues to hit Kane while Taker makes his way to the ring. When Taker makes it into the ring, Punk leaves and goes up the ramp with the urn.
Punk looks at the urn and then he mocks the Undertaker. Taker does the throat slash as we go to credits. 


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