WWE NXT
February 21, 2013
LIVE! From Full Sail University
by Emerson “I am a Rouseymaniac” Witner
Any questions, comments concerns or emotional outbursts? Contact me:
e-mail:
ewitner@yahoo.com
Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man
Twitter: @TheReallyRealEW
Here's what you need to know about NXT:
-They
have a champion, it's Big E. Langston, who defeated Seth Rollins for
the title on January 10. The show was taped after The Shield debuted at
Survivor Series, but before Big debuted on Raw. Big originally refused
to go to Raw when Vickie Guerrero offered him a spot, but did go to Raw
once AJ lost power. Go figure.
-They
also have Tag Team Champions, Oliver Grey and Adrian Neville. They won
the belts in a tournament, which concluded February 14 when they
defeated The Wyatt Family.
-Dusty Rhodes is the Authority Figure, but his job title seems to change from week to week.
-The
insanely popular Paige, Emma, Audrey Marie and the love of my life,
Sasha Banks were the only four NXT Diva's until February 7 when ring
announcer Summer Rae (not Summer Rain) attacked Paige.
-Bray
Wyatt, Luke Harper and Rowan (Husky Harris, Brodie Lee and Erick Rowan)
have formed a weird family, called simply The Wyatt Family.
-Kassius
Ohno and Leo Kruger have formed an alliance and seemed determined to
get William Regal to drop the headset and get in the ring.
And that's everything you need to know about NXT. (Now we know!) (And knowing is half the battle) (G.I. Joe!)
-Tom Phillips replaces Tony Dawson this week. Of course he wasn't much better than Tony. For instance...
Tom: What do you think El Local (Low-Cal) means?
William: It obviously means The Local, it's right there.
(Audrey Marie is pulling Sasha Banks' arms behind her back)
Tom: Tell the audience what that does right there.
William: If you need me to explain to you what that does, you shouldn't be sitting next to me.
1.)
Bray Wyatt (w/The Family) defeated Yoshi Tatsu in 1:35. This is Bray's
first tv match since July, when he went down with a knee injury. Bray
dropped Yoshi 31 seconds into the match with a Samoa Joe-esque uranage.
After a corner splash, Bray finished off Yoshi with an STO after kissing
his forehead. Bray cradled Yoshi during the fall.
-After
the match Bray ordered his men into the ring and forced them to watch
footage of their loss last week to Neville and Gray. Bray wondered how
they could let Bray down after everything he did for them. Bray asked
Rowan how it felt that his brother cost him the NXT Tag Titles. Bray
ordered Rowan to hit Luke, which he did.
Bray
then told Luke to hit Rowan, which Luke did. Luke and Rowan kept
punching one another, before Bray stopped it. They couldn't have put two
better people with Bray Wyatt. I just hope WWE doesn't fuck it up when
they call these men up.
-To
the back where Renee Young is with the love of my life, Sasha Banks.
Sasha is excited to find out who her secret admirer is. Sasha receives
an envelope which said her secret admirer was right behind her. Before
she could even turn around she was attacked from behind! But by who?
It was....Audrey Marie! Audrey had been off injured apparently and she told Sasha to stay out of her way.
-To a different part of the back where Daniel Bryan told us not to copy what they do in the ring. NO!
-6 weeks until WrestleMania!!!!!!!!!!!!
2.)
Xavier Woods pinned El Local in 4:38. Xavier is former TNA Tag Team
Champion Consequences Creed who, for some reason, is stuck in the
1990's. I don't mean that to sound like a dick. I say it because that is
his character. William said that despite the mask, you can tell that El
Local is dreadfully ugly. Something tells me that Local would make an
excellent Spanish ring announcer for someone on the main roster. Local
shows his great Luchadore background by doing all ground work. I haven't
watched much Lucha in my life, but I don't recall 3 minutes of rest
holds. Xavier picked up the win with a Tornado DDT.
In case you don't know, Local is Ricardo Rodriguez under a mask.
-Back
to the back where Renee Young is talking to Dr. Michael Sampson, who is
the physician for Paige, whose shoulder was hurt by Summer Rae. Doc
said that Paige isn't ready to get back in the ring, but will be
re-evaluated in a few days.
-For some reason we got a CM Punk video package. Hey, any excuse for some Living Colour is okay by me.
3.)
Sasha's Secret Admirer Emerson Witner...I mean Audrey Marie pinned The
Love Of My Life, Sasha Banks in 2:04. Despite being a heel about 5
minutes ago, Audrey played baby face to the crowd, which made the fans
not react to my love. Apparently Sasha Banks is Snoop Dogg's favorite
Diva. Well he has good taste. There was nothing to this match and Audrey
pinned my girl in two minutes with her wacky finisher.
-Back
to the back to the back where Renee Young is interviewing former ring
announcer Summer Rae. Summer does not feel bad about injuring Paige last
week. Her only regret is she broke her nail while slapping Paige.
Summer is looking to become the greatest WWE Diva of all time. Summer is
now referred to as The First Lady of NXT.
-Renee
Young is in another part of the arena as she talks to the fans of Qatar
about shows that are happening this weekend. Apparently the main event
for the shows were John Cena and Ryback vs CM Punk and Dolph Ziggler. I
wonder who won that match.
-To
the ring where the injured Tyson Kidd is introduced to the arena. Sadly
the man I thought would be getting a giant push in 2013 got a giant
push into the injured reserve. Tyson hobbled into the ring and gave an
interview about not being able to wait until he can return to the ring.
Tony
Dawson told us that “for those who do not know” Tyson was injured and
had major surgery. The man hobbled out on crutches with his entire leg
in a brace. I think most people put two and two together.
The
interview now turns to.....CM Punk. A month or so ago Punk made a
comment about Tyson on tv and Kidd said that he goes out every week and
is the absolute best he can be.
This
brings out Leo Kruger who said simply that he will end Tyson's career.
Like a wounded animal, Tyson is weak and vulnerable. Leo got into the
ring and kicked at Tyson's good knee. Tyson's “long time partner” Justin
Gabriel made the save. I know I have said this before, but Kidd and
Gabriel's first match as a team was at WrestleMania 28 where Gabriel was
injured and out for two months. But hey. 11 months is a long time!
-It was Kofi Kingston's turn to do a Don't Try This At Home video.
4.)
In a special challenge match, NXT Champion Big E. Langston went to a
Double Disqualification with Conor O'Brien in 8:03. Sadly we no longer
live in an alternate universe and it is acknowledged that Big is on Raw
as a heel while here as a baby face. This match was by far the longest
of the NXT career of Big. They had a strongman match, even though you
wouldn't normally think of Conor as a strong man. Remember when he was
trying to usher in the Rattitude Era? Conor got the heat when Big missed
a corner charge and went crashing shoulder-first into the post. Sadly
Conor is quite boring as a single. Why did Kenneth Cameron have to fuck
up? Conor got a 2 count off of a full nelson slam. Big fought out of the
Developmental Chinlock and went on a rampage. They exchanged punches in
the corner. The referee tried on several occasions to break them up,
but they finally shoved him to the mat and he threw the match out.
Big
and Conor continued to fight afterwards, with Big sending Conor
packing...but from behind comes Corey Graves! Graves stole the NXT Title
and ran off! Graves wants the championship!
See ya next week!
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