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martedì 16 aprile 2013

COMPLETE WWE RAW REPORT: MATCHES ANNOUNCED FOR EXTREME RULES; BOOKER ALMOST UTTERS THOSE THREE WORDS; THE RYBACK TALKS; I SENSE A THEME WITH THESE NON-TITLE MATCHES; CM PUNK SPEAKS; BIG SIX MAN TAG MATCH NEXT WEEK ON RAW; DID FANDANGOING DANCE OVER THE SHARK?


Last week on Raw, Mark Henry had his chance to face John Cena for the WWE Title, but he failed by count out. Mark Henry got some revenge but so did Ryback. Ryback sent John Cena a message, but what will happen when he talks about his actions? What will CM Punk say when he is given the chance to explain his loss to the Undertaker?
We are in Greenville, South Carolina and your announcers are Michael ‘Something seems familiar but I can’t put my finger on it’ Cole, John ‘Hope you sold your gold before today’ Layfield and Jerry ‘Why Isn’t Mike Rotunda here tonight’ Lawler.
Match Number One: Randy Orton and Sheamus versus Big Show in a Remember This Match from Smackdown (apparently the announcers didn’t) Match
Orton and Sheamus discuss who will begin the match and it is Sheamus. They lock up and Show backs Sheamus into the corner and Show pie faces Sheamus. Sheamus with punches and a side head lock but Show with a belly-to-back suplex to get out of the hold. Sheamus punches Show but Show with a shot to the midsection. Sheamus with shoulders from the apron and Sheamus with the forearms across the chest. Sheamus drops Show on the top rope and then Sheamus hits the flying shoulder tackle to take Show down and Sheamus gets a near fall.
Show sends Sheamus over the top rope to the floor. Orton tries to get the crowd to give Sheamus the power to recover. Sheamus returns to the ring and Show with a head butt. Show with repeated chops across the chest. Show with the Final Cut and he gets a near fall but Orton gets involved.
Sheamus with punches but Show with a top wrist lock. Sheamus with punches and a forearm to the back. Show with a side slam. Show goes to the turnbuckles but Sheamus recovers and he gets Show on his shoulders and he hits an Electric Chair drop.
Orton tags in and he punches and kicks Show. Orton with punches out of the corner and he hits a clothesline followed by a drop kick. Orton looks around and Show goes to the apron. Orton with a boot to the head and it is time for a Super IEDDT and he hits it. Orton looks around again and he sets for the RKO but Show pushes him away and Show grabs Orton. Sheamus with a Brogue Kick to Show and Orton with an RKO for the three count.
Winners: Randy Orton and Sheamus
We take a look at Triple H from Smackdown when 3MB tri-cornered Triple H only to be upstaged by the originals.
Josh Mathews is with 3MB in the back and Heath says that they are here to call out The Shield. Heath says that they are going to the ring to call out the Shield.
We go to commercial.
We are back and 3MB are in the ring and Heath Slater has something to say. Last week on Smackdown, the greatest rock band in WWE history was going to make an example out of Triple H, but no . . . that other three man cover band, the Shield, tried to steal their spotlight.
Jinder says that they are the only three man band.
Drew says that before they send the Shield on a highway to hell, they better come out and give them a handwritten apology.
Instead of the Shield, Brock Lesnar makes his way onto the stage and he does the Brock Bounce.
Brock sends Slater to the floor and then he takes care of McIntyre before hitting an overhead belly-to-belly suplex on Mahal. Brock with an F-5 to Drew. Slater tries to escape but he runs into a clothesline from Lesnar on the floor. Brock gives Slater an F-5 on the ringside barrier. Brock is not done with Slater and Paul Heyman tries to tell Brock to stop.
The crowd wants Brock to hurt Slater some more and he likes the idea. Paul tells Brock not to listen to the fans.
Paul says that he told us last week that his client is ready for a fight. The fight that his client wants and has demonstrated to everyone is against Triple H. On April 7, 2013, Triple H did what no man has ever done before. Paul apologizes before reminding us that Triple H knocked out Brock Lesnar. That means that Triple H is one hell of a man. It makes him a fighter and a warrior worthy of admiration. Paul says that he would look Hunter in the eye, shake his hand, and tell him that he respects him for what he did at Wrestlemania.
Paul says that Brock Lesnar does not share his opinion of Triple H. We have a problem and that is that Triple H’s hollow victory evens up the score at one and one. There can only be one dominant Alpha Male in the WWE Universe.
There is an event called EXTREME RULES. Paul says that him and his client propose a match where an unconscious man will be shown no mercy and will be victimized. It is time to get barbaric. It is time for a match when skin gets ripped away from bones. It is time to get primal. It is time to get uncensored, ruthless, and raw. It is time to get EXTREME.
Paul says that they are proposing a steel cage match. Since Triple H will be down for that so he has two words for him . . . Challenge Issued.
We go to commercial with Antonio Cesaro and Kofi Kingston walking in the back (will they remember they had a match on Smackdown?)
We are back and Antonio Cesaro has something to say. He says it in yodeling form.
Match Number Two: Antonio Cesaro versus Kofi Kingston for the United States Championship
They lock up and Kofi with a rollup for a near fall. Kofi with punches but Cesaro backs into the corner. They lock up and Kofi with a side head lock and Cesaro with a shoulder tackle. Kofi with a back slide for a near fall. Kofi with an Irish whip but he misses a splash into the corner. Cesaro with an Irish whip and European uppercut.
Cesaro with a dead lift side salto and he gets a near fall. Cesaro with a reverse chin lock. Kofi tries for a rollup but Cesaro picks him up. Kofi with chops and a drop kick followed by a leaping clothesline. Kofi with the Boom Drop and he sets for Trouble in Paradise but Cesaro moves and Cesaro hits Swiss Death but only get a near fall.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Cesaro is in control of the match and he runs his laces across Kofi’s face. Cesaro with a clothesline to Kofi and then he pie faces Kofi. Kofi tries for SOS but Cesaro with a head butt. Cesaro gets a near fall. Cesaro sends Kofi into the corner but Kofi with SOS but Cesaro gets his hand on the rope to stop the count.
Cesaro with a back elbow but Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise and Cesaro falls to the floor. Kofi struggles to get Cesaro back into the ring. The time to get Cesaro into the ring allows Cesaro to kick out.
Kofi goes up top for a cross body but Cesaro catches Kofi and hits a back breaker for a near fall. Cesaro waits for Kofi to get up and Cesaro charges into the corner and is met with a pendulum kick. Kofi tries for a springboard move but Cesaro catches him. Kofi gets a near fall with a sunset flip. Cesaro misses a double stomp and they go back and forth until Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise and he gets the three count.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
After the match, Josh Mathews is in the ring with the new United States Champion. Kofi says that he just brought the United States Championship home.
We go to commercial.
We are back and John, Jerry, and Michael talk about cashing in the Money in the Bank briefcase. We take a look back at last week’s Raw when the tradition that was stopped by John Cena resumed.
Dolph Ziggler, AJ Lee, and Big E Langston walk in the back as we go to commercial.
We are back and the new World Champion makes his way to the ring and he is accompanied to the ring by Big E Langston and AJ Lee.
Dolph thanks AJ and he says that he successfully cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase and he became the new World Champion. It was the single greatest moment in the history of Monday Night Raw. It was all because of him. Because of him. Some might say, how could you possibly top that?
He says it is easy. There has never been a World Champion as charismatic or flamboyant as him. It is time to face facts that he is just too good. Some may boo but he does not care. He doesn’t care.
Dolph says that when you are watching an NFL game and someone scores a touchdown, they are showing off. That is what you do when you are better than everyone else. He backs it up every single night. When you are as good as him, perks come with the job. Fame and fortune follows, and so does this . . . he kisses AJ.
Dolph says that no one will ever be as good as him.
Alberto Del Rio’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring with Ricardo Rodriguez who is on crutches.
Alberto says last week he congratulated Dolph and said that when the moment was right, he is going to invoke his rematch clause. He wants his rematch in Greenville and he wants it right now.
Dolph says that he is proud that Alberto hobbled his way to the ring . . .
Dolph is interrupted by Vickie Guerrero and her excuse mes. She says that Alberto gets his rematch and the match happens now.
Match Number Three: Alberto Del Rio versus Dolph Ziggler for the World Title
Before the match can start, Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger come out. Zeb says that there would not be a Money in the Bank cash in or a Dolph Ziggler World Champion without Jack Swagger. He is a real champion and a real American. Dolph won only because of what Jack did. He says that Dolph doesn’t deserve to be champion and Albert does not deserve another shot.
Del Rio attacks Swagger and Jack is sent to the floor. While Del Rio stares down Langston, Swagger takes Del Rio down and he sends Del Rio’s leg into the ring post. Swagger attacks Del Rio and he applies the ankle lock.
Daniel Bryan and Kane walk to the ring as we go to commercial.
We are back and we take a look back at what happened when Alberto Del Rio was given a rematch, but it never happened due to Jack Swagger.
We see the medical staff checking on Del Rio’s knee.
We are told that next week The Shield will face the Undertaker, Kane, and Daniel Bryan next week on Raw.
Match Number Three: Darren Young and Titus O’Neil versus Daniel Bryan and Kane in a Non Title Match
Titus and Bryan start things off and Titus with a knee but Bryan with Kicks of No that are simply dazzling. Bryan with a drop kick and he gets a near fall. Titus runs Daniel into the corner and he tags in Young. Young with a knee and clothesline for a near fall. Young with a European uppercut and Titus tags in.
Titus kicks Bryan in the corner and he barks. Bryan with forearms but Titus catches Bryan and he tosses Bryan over his head as he stares at Kane. Darren tags back in and Titus uses Young for a gourdbuster on Bryan and he gets a near fall. Young with a reverse chin lock.
Bryan with elbows followed by a flying clothesline and he tags in Kane. Kane with a punch followed by an Irish whip and clothesline into the corner. Kane with a second Irish whip and clothesline followed by a side slam for a near fall. Kane goes up top and he hits the clothesline. Kane signals for the choke slam and Kane sends Titus over the top rope and Bryan with a running knee off the apron.
Kane with a choke slam and Bryan is tagged in for the diving head butt and the three count.
Winners: Kane and Daniel Bryan
After the match, Bryan and Kane celebrate as we go to commercial.
We are back with the Slo Mo Slam and it is a look at Mark Henry giving John Cena the World’s Strongest Slam and then the spinebuster by Ryback on Henry. Then we see Ryback giving Cena a lariat and a marching muscle buster.
Ryback is in the back and he snarls before saying on April 7, 2013, Wrestlemania was the greatest moment of John Cena’s career, but the worst night of his. John Cena earned his redemption and he won the WWE Title. John was on the top of the world and Ryback was on the bottom. There is only one way for them to go. Ryback goes up while John goes down.
There must be so many questions swimming through his head. Why? What did he do? Maybe John knows and he saw it in his eyes before he took of John’s head. What choice did he have? After everything he has been through. After Wrestlemania, staring up the ladder. That was not going to happen.
Ryback says that John is probably thinking that he helped him. Cena told the WWE Universe that Ryback was his friend and a good guy. Ryback says that Cena even gave him a title match when he was injured, something that more people probably wish happened. Cena gave him a seat at the table and he always had his back.
Being the friend of John Cena is a sign to be in the shadows. He is not a side kick. If John Cena is Superman . . . say hello to kryptonite. How many times did John leave him when he was on the Road to Redemption? Where was John when he was so close to winning the World Title? John said that he could trust him, but six times he was attacked by the Shield. Where was he? Was he designing his newest t-shirt? Where was he?
The three times that Cena was attacked, he was there every time. He understands that John has his priorities and that was to win back the WWE Title. John got lucky at the Royal Rumble and earned his place at the table. At Elimination Chamber, Cena left him alone in the ring to deal with the Shield.
John did what he set out to do. He is the big winner. While John made his little jokes, Ryback saw him showing that no one else belonged there. He was waiting for John to admit that he was there because Ryback wasn’t. Last week, he showed John that he is stepping out of it and he has to see Ryback for what he is. He is the biggest threat to John Cena’s title reign.
Ryback Rules.
We go to commercial.
We are and we see what happens when 3MB tries to act like The Shield.
Match Number Four: R Truth versus Wade Barrett in a Non Title Match
They lock up and Truth with a side head lock and hammer lock. Truth with a wrist lock but Barrett with punches. Truth dances for Barrett and he hits a leg lariat and Barrett backs into the corner. Barrett pushes Truth away but Truth goes into the corner and the referee holds him back. Barrett with a punch to the ribs and he kicks Truth in the ribs and he hits an elbow drop for a near fall.
Barrett puts Truth on the turnbuckle and then he connects with forearms to the back. Barrett with a knee to the midsection and Truth falls to the mat. Barrett gets a near fall. Barrett with a seated abdominal stretch. Truth with a crucifix cover to counter the Blackpool Slam.
Truth with clotheslines but Barrett with a boot to Truth and then Truth with a split to avoid a forearm. Truth with a sit out gourdbuster for a near fall. Truth misses the scissors kick and Barrett with a back heel kick and he tries for a pump handle slam followed by Little Jimmy for the three count.
Winner: R Truth
Brad and Vickie talk about Alberto’s condition and there is a knock on the door.
Teddy Long enters the office and he asks them if they heard about Alberto. Teddy has a solution. Jack Swagger faces Dolph Ziggler. He has it set up. He has given Jack some extra incentive. Vickie wants to know if Booker knows and Vickie likes the idea. Vickie tells Brad to tell someone.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Damien Sandow demands silence. A famed philosopher once said, we are but dwarfs on the shoulders of giants. Cody says that they will be like those proverbial dwarves and giants as they promote decency for all.
Damien says that will happen even in a place like South Carolina.
Match Number Five: Santino Marella and Great Khali (with Natalya and Hornswoggle) versus Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes
Damien and Khali start things off and Sandow avoids Khali and he punches him. Khali sends Sandow into the corner and he chops Sandow in the chest. Cody tags in and so does Santino. Santino with some of his kicks to air and Cody with punches to flesh. Santino floats over but Cody stops short and Cody with a forearm. Sandow tags in and he kicks Santino and punches him.
Cody tags in and he punches Santino. Cody with a Flair-esque knee drop and Sandow with the Elbow of Disdain for a near fall. Sandow with a reverse chin lock on Santino. Santino with punches but Sandow with a punch of his own. Santino blocks a punch and he connects with punches and does a split followed by a hip toss and diving head butt.
Santino reaches for the cobra and he puts it on. He hits it on Sandow and then he teases Cody but Hornswoggle has a cobra. Cody grabs Hornswoggle but Khali hits Cody. Sandow with a rollup on Santino for the three count.
Winners: Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow
After the match, they do the assisted cartwheel of assistance.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Jerry Lawler is in the ring and he points out that only once has someone made their debut at Wrestlemania and won. This person defeated the first Undisputed Champion. He has started the fad of Fandangoing.
Jerry introduces Fandango and before he emerges from the Golden Shower Curtain, Sue makes her way onto the stage.
Jerry asks Fandango if he ever . . .
Fandango takes the mic and he asks Jerry how his hips are feeling. He wants Jerry to move his hips.
Fandango wants to know who wants to go Fandangoing with him.
He wants everyone to pronounce his name correctly.
Fandango says that since they cannot pronounce his name, everyone can go Fandango themselves.
Matt Striker is with John Cena in the interview area. Matt asks John a question but John interrupts and he says that he is going to go to the ring so Ryback can find him. He will handle his business face to face and man to man.
We go to commercial while Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter make their way to the ring.
We are back with a look at what happened earlier tonight with Alberto Del Rio.
Match Number Six: Dolph Ziggler (with AJ Lee and Big E Langston) versus Jack Swagger (with Zeb Colter) in a Non Title Match
Ziggler avoids Swagger and Ziggler shows off. Swagger puts Ziggler in the corner and he slaps him in the head. Ziggler has something to say to Swagger and he slaps him. Ziggler goes to the floor and Swagger follows after him and Ziggler ambushes Swagger as he returns to the ring. Swagger with a boot to the head.
Swagger with knees in the corner followed by a short arm clothesline. Swagger with a boot to the chest. Swagger with an Irish whip but he runs into an uppercut and Ziggler with a neck breaker. Ziggler has a drop kick blocked and Swagger tries for an ankle lock but Ziggler gets to the ropes. Ziggler drops Swagger on the top rope but Swagger puts Ziggler on the top rope in a very uncomfortable place. Swagger knocks Ziggler off the apron and to the floor as we go to commercial.
We are back and Swagger misses a charge into the corner because he was We The Peopling and he goes shoulder first into the post. Ziggler with an inside cradle for a near fall. Swagger with a belly-to-belly suplex for a near fall. Swagger with a knee to Ziggler’s midsection. Swagger tries for the double jump Swagger Bomb and Ziggler gets his boots up.
Ziggler with a kick to the knee followed by a drop kick. Ziggler hits the leaping DDT and he gets a near fall. Swagger catches Ziggler on a Fameasser attempt and Swagger with a rollup for the three count.
Winner: Jack Swagger
After the match, while Swagger We The Peoples again, Alberto Del Rio attacks Swagger from behind and he kicks Swagger off the stage. Del Rio applies the cross arm breaker.
Del Rio points at Ziggler.
CM Punk and Paul Heyman are walking in the back and they are laughing about something as we go to commercial.
We are back and Sheamus is with Matt Striker.
Mark Henry attacks Sheamus before he can say anything and Mark says that what he do and he tells Sheamus he has more of that.
CM Punk makes his way to the ring and he is accompanied by Paul Heyman.
Punk looks around and he does not say anything.
Eventually, Punk says for 434 days as WWE Champion, he couldn’t enjoy the ride because he was always looking around the corner at what was next. The WWE Championship meant the world to him. He wanted that next challenge and he found that challenge in The Rock. As he battled somebody who will go down as one of the best of all time, he wanted more.
He wanted to know what the next hurdle was because he was never satisfied. He wants more.
After being champion for 434 days, where do you go? After battling the most electrifying person in sports entertainment, he figured he would go after the one thing more important than the title. That was to challenge The Streak. He took the Undertaker to the limit.
Punk apologizes to Paul, hugs him, and leaves.
Paul doesn’t know what to think as Punk walks up the ramp. Punk stops halfway and then he goes to the back and we go to commercial.
We are back and Booker T is yelling at Teddy for overstepping his bounds. Teddy says that he knows what Booker is thinking and Booker says that he doesn’t. Booker tells Teddy that Alberto might be injured and can’t compete. It means he can’t compete tonight. Swagger will get his title match. Del Rio will get his title match. Dolph Ziggler will defend the title in a Triple Threat match. He tells Teddy to do his business.
Match Number Seven: Kaitlyn versus Nikki Bella (with Brie Bella) in a Non Title Match
They lock up and Kaitlyn sends Nikki to the mat. They lock up again and Kaitlyn sends Nikki to the mat again. They lock up a third time and Kaitlyn with an arm drag and Nikki talks to Brie. Kaitlyn with a baseball slide and Kaitlyn rolls Nikki into the ring and Brie distracts her and Nikki with a leg sweep and Kaitlyn lands on the apron.
Nikki sends Kaitlyn back into the ring and Nikki with a camel clutch in the ropes. Brie drops Kaitlyn on the rope and Nikki gets a near fall. Nikki stands on Kaitlyn’s hair while arguing with the referee. Nikki with a rear chin lock while working on the back.
Nikki gets a near fall. Kaitlyn gets to her feet but Nikki sends her back to the mat. Nikki gets a near fall. Nikki with a rear chin lock but Kaitlyn gets Nikki on her back and she uses the turnbuckles to escape the hold. Kaitlyn with a clothesline and back elbow. Kaitlyn with a flying shoulder tackle and a clothesline into the corner but she runs into a knee from Nikki.
Kaitlyn with a kick and she gets Nikki on her shoulders and hits a gutbuster but the referee gets distracted and Brie gets in the ring and she sends Kaitlyn into the ropes and Brie gets the three count.
Winner: Nikki Bella (with an assist from Brie Bella)
Ryback has that look on his face as he walks into commercial.
Based on what happened tonight we have a tag match on Friday. Mark Henry and Big Show will face Randy Orton and Sheamus.
John Cena is out and he has given up on his shirt from last week and has gone back to the yellow.
John announces that the Champ is here . . . and the Ryback is there. The Champ has some business with the Ryback so he wants The Ryback to get right here, right now.
The Ryback makes his appearance on the stage and The Ryback makes his way to the ring to talk to The Champ.
They have something to say while The Ryback throws The Shirt into The Crowd.
John says that Ryback has destroyed everything in his path and when the crowd chants ‘Feed Me More’ someone is going to get hurt. Cena says that he will not wet his khakis.
John says that he made an open challenge to anyone who thought that he was man enough to challenge. Ryback did nothing. He says that Ryback sat until John’s back was turned to knock him down. What did Ryback do tonight? He made everyone sit through a highlight reel of excuses and it was boring. Ryback isn’t successful because of John Cena. Ryback is in the shadow because of John Cena. Ryback isn’t Champion because of John Cena. Ryback wants the title and he knocked him down once.
John wants to know if Ryback knows who he is dealing with. He has been to war with Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels, and Triple H. Those are his friends. The WWE Championship is everything.
He says that he knows what The Ryback did last week, but he doesn’t like the way he did it. The message that was sent to the world. He says that Ryback lacks two things to be champion, the space between the ears and the piece between the legs.
Last week, after Ryback attacked him, Ryback held the title and it must have felt nice. John says that they should do it a little different tonight. John starts to get undressed and he tells Ryback to make a move to see if he can earn a Championship.
They stare each other down and then Ryback leaves the ring.
The music for The Shield plays and Ryback stops.
The Shield remain in the crowd for a moment but they enter the ringside area.
Who will the Shield attack? Reigns, Ambrose, and Rollins get on the apron and then they enter the ring and Cena tries to fight them off but just like in Superman II, three super villains are enough to stop Superman.
The Ryback stands on The Ramp while watching The Attack.
As the attack continues, The Shield stands over Cena and they get ready for the Cerberus Bomb but Ryback walks to The Back . . . but then he stops on The Stage.
Ambrose and Rollins pick up Cena for Reigns to hit the Cerberus Bomb.
We go to credits. 


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