OVW TV tapings report 1-2

Here is the report for Ohio Valley Wrestling episode 698. This episode is available for your viewing pleasure at http://www.ovwrestling.com/tv/698. Our announcers are Dean Hill, Gilbert Corsey, and Michael Titus. This is also the final episode before January 5th's Saturday Night Special thus there was much discussion during the matches concerning this.

We begin with a subset of the Coalition Forces ("General" Crimson from Crimson's Army and Platoon of Wayne's Jason Wayne and Joe Coleman) coming to the ring. Coleman is carrying the field radio from last week while Wayne has the infamous metal rod but with a white flag on it. Crimson "just got back from DC with a meeting from the top brass" and is carrying the manila folder with "Classified" written on it we saw last week. He calls out James "Moose" Thomas, Mascara Mafia (Paredyse & Brandon "Espy" Espinosa) and "Smooth" Johnny Spade, who defeated the Coalition Forces in an eight-man tag match last week. Crimson says they mean no harm, they just want to talk, which Gilbert doesn't buy. Crimson says they are unarmed and outmanned as the top brass has asked him to call for a cease-fire as too many people are getting hurt in these battles. He has at least 5 men that are ready to fight at Saturday Night Special, so they will make this a fair fight and make a match to settle the score. Moose understands this to mean it will be 5-on-5 and agrees to this, saying his peeps didn't start this but they will finish it! Out comes the remainder of the Coalition Forces (Doug Williams, Jack Black, and The Wildcards-Raul Lamotta & Shiloh Jonze) to ringside although Crimson insists he didn't call for them. Of course, it then becomes a seven-on-four attack which ends up with Wayne and Lamotta slinging Moose into a powerbomb from Crimson. Wayne beats on Moose with the rod with the white flag on it then unfurl an American flag and lay it over the fallen Moose. Wayne congratulates Crimson then points out that Crimson didn't say HE was having five on his side and clarifies that it will be 7 (the seven Coalition guys) against 5 Saturday night!

OUR OVW Ring Announcer Terry Boddie is backstage with Moose & Friends and inquires as the the identity of their fifth man. Paredyse & Espy don't know, but Moose knows who it has to be and tells Spade to make the call.

OUR OVW Southern Tag Team Champions Gut Checkers (Sam Shaw & Alex Silva) come to the ring with their impression of Best Team Ever (Rudy Switchblade & Jesse Godderz), dressed in some BTE tights. Shaw flexes a lot so I guess he is Godderz here but doesn't get to for very long because the real BTE hits the ring but are quickly dispatched. Shaw challenges them for right now and they're putting up the titles!

Match #1: OUR OVW Southern Tag Team Champions Gut Checkers (Sam Shaw & Alex Silva) vs Best Team Ever (Rudy Switchblade & Jesse Godderz)
They take a commercial break at the start and return with Switchblade getting worked over by the champs. Gilbert and Dean say that regardless of the outcome here, there will still be a title match at Saturday night. Switchblade works in a double throat jab on Silva and BTE doubles up on him as Shaw is struggling to get up off the floor after being planted by Godderz. Shaw gets smashed into the guardrail by Godderz as Silva scoots to an empty corner, leading to more distress for Silva. Shaw finally gets tagged in and is on fire! Shaw neckbreakers Switchblade for 2 but Godderz breaks it up. Everybody in the pool! For some reason, ref Jordan Barker calls for the bell. Gilbert's explanation is "you only get 5 seconds to be in there"? The match is officially announced as a draw although it's also said Barker threw it out. Okay. BTE beats on Gut Checkers a little more before Switchblade warns of worse things to come Saturday night.

Match #2: Jeremiah Plunkett (w/the sideburns!) vs "Diamond Steel" Ryan Howe (w/the guitar!)
Dean identifies Howe's guitar as a Stratocaster, with which Howe plays a few bars from "Purple Haze". Titus says Plunkett will use the Pulverizing Plunkett Power Punch to make his mark in OVW! Howe loses his early advantage due to a Plunkett suplex followed by a spinebuster. Plunkett takes some chops but hits an eyepoke of doom! Plunkett misses a splash and Howe neckbreakers him for 2. Plunkett get in a back forearm to the head but runs into a boot and Howe blockbusters him for the pin.

Jessie Belle and Epiphany are in the back discussing their issues as The Body Guy shows up. He has his back to us as he opens his robe for the ladies, who are not appreciative of this at all. Meanwhile, Spade is explaining the issues from earlier to someone on the phone. Apparently, this would be their fifth man since Spade implies they will make it happen tonight (as in Saturday night).

Match #3: Jessie Belle vs Epiphany
This is a number one contender’s match for the women's title currently held by OUR OVW Women’s Champion Taeler Hendrix. Gilbert points out that Epiphany is a 2-time champ (but her last title reign was cut short by getting stripped of the title by Ken Wayne). As the two shake hands and aim to play nice, out comes Hendrix to presumably observe. Titus offers Taeler his seat at the announce table. She says there is no competition for her out here; they are going to beat each other up and make it easy for her on Saturday night. Taeler abruptly leaves the table and gets in the ring to talk trash to both girls. They respond with a double clothesline for Taeler and send her out of the ring. Jessie ducks a couple of clotheslines and crossbodies Epiphany for the win. Taeler throws a tantrum.

Randy Royal is doing pushups and crunches as Tony Gunn counts them. Royal is then jumping rope but has to stop as it appears he's about to be sick. Gunn has the camera shut off.

"THE MIX TAPE"!!!!!!!!With Timmy "Rampage" Danger and Eddie "White Kryptonite" Diamond!!! My favorite part of the show!! Bobbie Bardot is with them. Danger announces the "Suckah of the Year" will be named tonight after counting and re-counting the votes from Twitter. Gilbert voted for Titus, who Danger says was a finalist, describing him as "Jimmy Neutron-looking, disco ball jacket-wearing". Doug Williams was also a finalist as "mincemeat pie-eating, soccer-watching, Dr. Who-watching, Mr. Bean-looking", as was Crimson! Diamond holds up the envelope with the winner but is cut off by the music of The Body Guy, who comes out to the ring. Body Guy takes the mic, saying this is stupid and no one cares about "Suckah of the Year". He says what the people want to see is under his robe. He goes to pull off the belt but Diamond grabs him, giving him an atomic drop followed by an inverted DDT. They award The Body Guy the "Golden 40" and name him 2012's "Suckah of the Year".

Announcers talk about Trailer Park Trash vs Flash Flanagan (for the first time in this show) and other matches for Saturday night as the main event commences.

Match #4: That Guy Who Thinks He Is OUR OVW TV Champion Cliff Compton vs The Actual OVW TV Champion Jamin Olivencia
Compton gets introduced as "Batman" and "The Real Television Champion". Olivencia out with both belts (the actual one and the retired one that Compton produced recently). Compton starts out worried about his "injured" foot so Olivencia grabs it and goes to work on it before Compton bails out. They brawl a bit outside before making their way back in for more foot working by Olivencia. Compton throws Olivencia off as he goes for the Standing O and grabs one of the belts. However, Olivencia grabs the other and they hit each other with them simultaneously. Ref Chris Sharpe calls for the bell, then has to separate the two.
For the first time tonight, OUR OVW Director of Authority Trailer Park Trash/Frank Miller comes out. He says he has enough to worry about with his own match with Flanagan, so he ain't hearing none of this. TPT says both belts will be hung above the ring in a ladder match! Flanagan hits the ring and attacks TPT but Olivencia runs him off. Flash grabs the mic and hopes to see TPT Saturday night as the show goes off.

Thoughts: I enjoyed this a bit more the second time I watched it. I did appreciate the variety this week over the previous few shows, though this was like a "Saturday Night Special" preview show with 3 of the matchups taking place here. There were only a couple of mentions of OUR OVW Champion Rob Terry, which would lead me to think that maybe he is the "fifth man". There's no way the Gut Checkers parody was going to be as funny as BTE's parody of them last week, so at least that was kept short. "Suckah of the Year" was a bit underwhelming, wonder why Titus didn't get it. I'm kind of curious to see where they go after Saturday night. Anyway, after the second time through I raised my grade to thumbs in the middle.