Raw is Tyson in 2010 TV report

Raw is Tyson in 2010 TV report by Todd Martin


The Big News: If you want a quick capsule explanation of what has gone wrong with WWE booking over the past decade, just watch the way the company booked Mike Tyson in 1998 and then how they booked Tyson in 2010.

Show Analysis:

The show started with Mike Tyson. All the announcers put him over huge. He got a lot of boos from the crowd anyway but they cheered him when he started talking. They showed video of him knocking out Shawn Michaels and some fans chanted “you screwed Shawn” which was very funny.

Sheamus came out and called Tyson a washed up ex-champ. Sheamus said he is WWE champion which means he is the baddest man on the planet. The comedy continues. Tyson cocked back for a punch and Sheamus flinched huge like an 8-year-old. I guess he’s still shook from what happened with Mark Cuban.

Next up was the precession of people asking for a title shot at the Royal Rumble. Randy Orton was first and demanded a shot from Tyson. Next was John Cena, who was not popular with this crowd. He said he has beaten everyone there, although he acknowledged he beat Mike Tyson in Punch-Out. I’m not sure how many people understood the reference, but I did so it’s fine by me.

Finally, Kofi Kingston of all people came out. He basically acknowledged that he doesn’t deserve a shot and lost clean last week to Orton, but just said he wants a title shot because he hasn’t gotten one before. He added that he won’t wait for a title shot just because he hasn’t won matches to earn one. Kofi looked like such a loser here, but I guess they felt Cena vs. Orton MMMMCLXII for the title shot would feel played out so they threw in a random third guy. And Kofi if nothing else definitely qualifies as a random third guy.

As Kofi was speaking, the crowd chanted “Cena sucks” and then “Randy.” Sheamus said he just defended against Cena and wants the Royal Rumble off. I don’t really care because it’s just Sheamus, but I don’t understand why they’re booking him like a chickenshit heel. It doesn’t fit with the character they’d previously given him. Mike Tyson said that he has never ducked a challenge and made a triple threat match with the winner getting a title shot at the Rumble.

Alicia Fox beat Kelly Kelly to advance in the women’s title tournament. Kelly threw Alicia over the top rope and hit a clothesline off the apron. She followed with the whirlybird but her huracanrana attempt was reversed into a power bomb for the pin.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase beat Mark Henry and Evan Bourne. Prior to the match DiBiase and Rhodes teased dissension in Legacy by arguing over who’s turn it will be to advance at the Royal Rumble this year. Legacy briefly worked over Bourne. He tagged Henry, who gave Rhodes a press slam. Henry tagged back in Bourne for the shooting star but DiBiase pulled Rhodes out of the way. Rhodes then hit the crossroads for the pin.

Backstage, Shawn Michaels and HHH weighed the merits of making peace with Mike Tyson. HHH pointed out he’s insane. Michaels, however, said that he thinks Tyson is a changed man and will prove it.

Shawn Michaels confronted Tyson after the commercial break. He said he forgave Tyson for knocking him out. Tyson then went heel. He said that he doesn’t need forgiveness. He enjoyed it; he doesn’t regret it; he would do it again. Chris Jericho then came in. So if you had 0 weeks in the pool for how long Jericho would be gone, a winner is you. Stipulations, shnipulations, WWE wants its monkey men.

Chris Jericho said that he got Mike Tyson’s number and that they are now friends. Thus, Tyson made a match of DX vs. Jericho and Tyson, where if Jericho wins he can stay on Raw forever. Yes, that’s right; they booked a match with Mike Tyson and advertised it for 80 minutes.

Jack Swagger came out and said that he will win the Royal Rumble and go to WrestleMania. He posited that no one will be able to throw him over the top rope and issued an over the top challenge. Santino came out to accept, and the announcers immediately pointed out Santino sucks at battle royals and holds the record for quickest elimination in Rumble history. So of course he won.

Swagger went to throw out Santino but Santino hung on and Swagger flew out. You know, I wouldn’t book segments that serve no purpose other than to bury and humiliate my best young talent, but maybe that’s just me. What, is this guy a heroin addict? Did he pull a Mel Phillips? Did they find out he’s a spy for TNA? I know they love burying guys, but Swagger has as much star potential as anyone on the entire roster.

Randy Orton beat John Cena and Kofi Kingston in a triple threat. Can you guess who did the job? Of course you can. Cena and Kingston double teamed Orton a lot early. Orton then basically took over 1-on-2. He would beat up one then the other. He hit a DDT off the ropes on Cena but Kingston used a frog crossbody on him off the top. Orton responded with a back breaker on Kingston and punches for Orton.

Kingston gained control with the S.O.S. on Orton but Cena caught Kingston as he went for the boom drop and applied the STF. Cena then used the Cena slam on Orton but his FU attempt was broken up by Kingston. Kingston hit the boom drop and trouble in paradise on Cena but Cena fell to the floor. At that point, Cody Rhodes interfered by kicking the steps into Cena’s head and distracting the referee. DiBiase attacked Kingston from behind and Orton hit the RKO on Kingston and pinned him yet again. They told the story that Legacy is together again.

I’m not sure what exactly it is, but Orton vs. Sheamus is more interesting to me than any Raw title match in quite a while. Maybe it’s just that it feels genuinely different. It doesn’t hurt that the winner isn’t clear and that the direction will likely be different depending who comes out on top.

Backstage, Mike Tyson threatened to tear out Hornswoggle’s intestines and jump rope with them. He said he would rip out Hornswoggle’s brain, put it in a newspaper, and smash it against the window like Silly Putty. I was so very disappointed when he didn’t follow through on these threats. I mean, I didn’t think it was possible for my feelings about Hornswoggle to be articulated so perfectly. I want to chop him up and put him inside the mattress like drug money.

Miz did a promo starting backstage and then coming out in front of the people. He talked about how he was once banned from the WWE locker room. He referenced JBL by name mocking him and said that everyone ridiculed him and wanted him to quit. Miz noted that he used that negativity as fuel and now he doesn’t go in the locker room because he has a private dressing room. He said he will publicly humiliate MVP and that MVP doesn’t belong in the same ring with him.

Miz said he’s the reason people watch Raw and the most entertaining star on the show. He made some remarks about MVP’s criminal past, which brought out MVP. MVP said he has embraced that past and talks about it openly. Since when? MVP said he has worked hard to get back into society. They traded insults.

At this point the segment fell apart a little because they had all this scripted material and they got lost. So you had each guy delivering lines that didn’t really correspond to what the other person had just said. God I wish they’d just give the guys bullet points. The basic gist was MVP saying that he is a dangerous person and daring Miz to bring that out of him. They then got into a brawl.

I loved Miz’s promo here. They did a great job bringing up real events to make his character feel more authentic, and his delivery was phenomenal. If they’d just ran with him when he caught fire against Cena, I think he would be a Jericho/Edge level heel at this point.

Eve Torres beat Katie Lea Burchill. They announced Katie has been signed to Raw. Katie hit a back breaker. Eve came back with dropkicks and used a rollup for the pin. They announced next week’s guest hosts are a guy from Miami Vice and Napoleon Dynamite.

Vince McMahon came out and said that he wanted to end the rumors that he brought security to keep Bret Hart from entering the building. Vince said that Bret screwed Bret and last week he screwed Bret. The crowd started chanting boring, which is not a good sign. Vince said Bret will never be seen in WWE again. Like Jericho?

DX beat Chris Jericho and Mike Tyson. Tyson and Michaels locked up and Tyson shoved Michaels down. Michaels ran into a shoulder block by Tyson. A frustrated Michaels tagged HHH. Jericho came in and DX gained control. Jericho hit an enzuigiri on Michaels and tagged back Tyson.

Hornswoggle then came out with boxing gloves. Jericho came in to yell at DX but Tyson took off his shirt behind Jericho to reveal a DX shirt. He then hit the KO punch on Jericho and Michaels pinned him. The punch looked phenomenal, so props to Jericho and Tyson assuming Jericho is still alive and has all his teeth.

Final Thoughts:

12 years ago, WWF shelled out a ton of money to bring in Mike Tyson. There was no guarantee it would be a good investment, but they made it work really well by carefully building up a story and making it all seem like a really big deal. By the end, all Tyson had done was stand outside the ring as a second referee and then punch Michaels. It made the WWF millions of dollars and turned the tide of the Monday Night War.

Here we are 12 years later, and you couldn’t have a more stark contrast. You actually had Tyson doing a match, but WWE only thought to advertise it for 80 minutes. And this match was a TNA style “fake match” where the only logical explanation is that Tyson was pretending to wrestle in order to deceive DX. You know who used to pull that crap? WCW, while WWF was kicking its ass. And the big payoff is Tyson celebrating with the annoying midget. So yeah, thumbs down on that.