WWE EXTREME RULES REPORT !!

The pre-show match saw Hornswoggle take on Torito in a WEE-L-C match. They had a midget ref and midget announcers: Micro Cole, Jerry Smaller and Wee Bl, or JBElf. The real announcers were there too but they largely stayed out of it. ... It was what it was early on. They then went to a commercial for the PPV. I didn't mind at all. Then they showed us that on Legends House they are going to Las Vegas for a Chippendale Challenge and manscaping. ... When they came back, 3MB were working over Los Matadors. ... The big spot, pardon the pun, came when Horny removed the little announce team and set up Torito on the table. Horny then dropped an elbow off of the apron and put Torito through the table. The fans chanted "This Is Awesome". I wouldn't go that far. ... Back in the ring, Horny had 3MB help him. He hit Slater in the nuts with it by accident. Drew held Torito and put in on the ladder but Matdores came in and it ended up with Torito coming off of the ladder and putting Jinder and his teammates through a table on the floor. Then Drew did a somersault splash over the top but no one was home and he went through a table. Torito hit a Springboard Thesz Press (which sounds like an oxymoron) and got the pin. It was better than I thought it would be and the micro announcers were fun. 

 We are opening the show with the Triple Threat match, RVD vs. Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger. RVD came out first. Then Jack Swagger. They got solid reactions. Then Paul Heyman came out, to a big pop. He did a great promo about one night a year, WWE gets it right with Extreme Rules. Then as they were cheering him, he did his "my client" bit and turned them. They booed him and said that the 11th commandement of Extreme is though shall not boo Paul Heyman. They booed. Then he introduced Cesaro. There was lots of action early on. Cesaro did a six suplex on Swagger from the top to bring him into the ring. It looked like RVD pinned Swagger with the Five Star, then the announcers wondered if had happened. Lilian announced that he did, so it's RVD vs. Cesaro. ...Cesaro worked RVD over good, including ramming him into the barricade but then RVD came back and hit a spinning leg lariat while Cesaro was draped on the barricade. The crowd chanted ECW. He got a two with Rolling Thunder. RVD tried to bring a trashcan into the ring but Cesaro dropkicked it into Rob. Cesaro tried to use it on RVD but got it kicked into his face instead. RVD put the can on Cesaro and went to the top. He did the Five Star but Cesaro moved and Rob just got can. Cesaro then hit The Neutralizer on the can for the win. Really good, fun match to start the show. Daniel Bryan was in the back getting worked on by the trainer when Stephanie walked in. As part of the Authority, she is worried for him because she can't control Kane. She is afraid for him, for his wife and mother to have to watch what will happen. So she came up with an option. He doesn't have to compete tonight. He could surrender the WWE Title. He told her to get out of his face. He is walking in as the WWE Champ and somehow he will walk out the exact same way. Steph says you won't be walking out the WWE Champion, you will be walking out Kane's bitch. Lana came out and did her thing. They are dedicating this match to the most powerful man in the world, the man who makes fools out of you Americans. He is her role model and idol, Vince Russo. Oh wait, Vladimir Putin. Same thing right? It got a USA chant. Go figure. Rusev now resides in Rusev. 

Time his handicap match. R-Truth came out talking so Rusev trashed him and Xavier Woods. By the time it started, Rusev had destroyed Woods. Then he went to work on Truth. ... Truth made a short comeback, but it didn't last long. Rusev can do some impressive stuff and made Truth submit to the Camel Clutch. It was exactly what it should have been. Lilian put over the NJ Special Olympic team, which is awesome. They have their competition next month. Renee did an interview with Evolution. They are bad asses with egos, and they are deserved. They will take out The Shield tonight. IC Title Time. Bad News got a really big pop. Then he did a promo about us all getting the new virus. But that doesn't compare to what Big E will get. Big E then came out. And they're off. ... Bad News was definitely over with the crowd early on. And they did some good stuff. Barrett is really good and smooth. Hope he finally gets the push he deserves. ... Big E started to come back, and the crowd didn't like it. Big E did some good power moves. Then he hit spear on him when Barrett was on the apron and they both went to the floor cool stuff. ... Out of nowhere, Barrett caught Big E in the Winds Of Change for a two count. Barrett hit Wasteland for a two. He then set up the Bullhammer but Big E caught him with a chokeslam for a two. Big hit a splash and then pulled down the strap. He went for the Big Ending but Barrett ducked it. Big E ducked the Bullhammer, but then ran into one. New IC champion. ... I really liked this match a lot. Both of these guys showed me a lot here. Barrett is definitely trending up but Big E showed her can go too. Good stuff. 

They are recapping the Evolution vs. Shield feud. It's time! Evo came out first. The Shield made them wait. When they came down, they were over. Know that. ... I just told Eps I was psyched for this match. Shield get me psyched a lot. They must be pretty damn good, huh? ... It started exactly as it should, with them all facing off. Shield tossed all three out of the ring, where they regrouped. Once it started. Rollins went at it with HHH, and both landed good shots on the other. H tagged in BooTista and Evolution went to work on Rollins. ... All three Evo guys worked over Rollins for the next few minutes. He finally came back with an anziguri on Orton and tagged in Ambrose, who came in like a house afire. Batista got in his face and he blasted Batista. He put the Figure Four on Orton when Evo came in. Roman made the save and trashed big Dave. But H ole'd a Spear by Roman on the floor and he ate the ring steps. So now it is Ambrose on his own against Evo. The Shield are TOTAL babyfaces by the way. But now Rollins is up and waiting for a tag. Roman is back up too, but Ambrose is still getting worked over. Evo is killing Ambrose. The crowd hates Evo. They are chanting you can't wrestle at Batista. Finally, Ambrose tagged in Reigns and he right after Batista. Then Orton. The Batista. Then Orton. Then pretty much all of them. Batista got Roman but Ambrose hit a sick knee on him from the top. Triple Powerbomb on Batista. At two, Orton and H pulled Roman out. Rollins went to nail H from a tope but H moved and Seth crashed and burned. H Pedigreed Roman but before he could cover, Ambrose saved him. Batista rolled right in for a cover but only got two. The fans chanted this is awesome and they are right. Orton hit the RKO on Roman but Rollins broke it up. He is a machine. This is great. ... They are brawling everywhere. It is chaotic Cole said and damn he is right. ... H and Orton were going to destroy Rollins in the crowd when Ambrose went crazy off of the announce tables and barricade and took them both out. This is great. ... They are out in the crowd now. Damn, if you didn't buy the Network and watch this, but it now and WATCH THIS! ... Ambrose just went down the stips in the crowd, due to Orton. HHH and Orton are stalking him. I think Dave and Roman are legal back in the ring. Out of nowhere, Rollins came flying from a level above and took out the heels. Awesome. They went back to the ring, and Batista laid out Reigns. He went for the Batista Bomb but ate the big punch instead. Spear followed. Shield wins. That was FREAKIN' AWESOME. Kudos to all and to Big Dave for doing the job again. Holy crap, if you can, buy the Network. That was awesome. 

 The cage is coming down so John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt is next, as we reported Daniel Bryan vs. Kane is your main event. Cena came out first. Next was Bray, Izod Center, we're here. As Bray was entering the cage, we got out first dueling Cena chants. ... Early on, Bray was in charge and the fans chanted for him. When Cena came back, they booed. As Cena went up the cage, Harper climbed up on the apron from the outside. The idea is that Cena has to contend with them keeping him in. ... The door was opened and Bray went to leave, but Cena stopped him. Then Cena tried to climb out a few times, and Bray stopped him. ... Honestly, it's kind of slow early on as they are working to get out of the cage with the other guy stopping him. ... Then, Cena took control and went for the FU but as he picked Bray up, Wyatt grabbed the cage and started climbing but Cena hit a powerbomb. Cena came to the door but Rowan closed it. Cena then grabbed it and pushed it, opening it. So Harper came over and Cena was about to out push both of them when Wyatt came from behind and took him out. He was in control for a minute but then missed a senton. Cena went ip and as he came dowm the cage Harper got under him and walked him back up it, into the cage. So now Cena has to pin to win. He got a two on Bray. Then Cena climbed up and Harper met him at the top. They fought and Cena pulled Harper into the cage. Cena went come down but the door was open and Bray went to get out. So Cena kicked the door in his face. As Cena went to come down, Rowan was waiting with a chair. So Cena went back in and Bray took control. He went for Sister Abigail but Cena then turned it into the STF. The crowd booed. With the door open Bray crawled to the door and used the rope to break the hold. It turned into Cena on one end, Rowan on the other. Cena won. Bray managed to lay out Cena and went to the top of the cage. Cena chased him. They fought. Cena got him on the shoulder on the second turnbuckle and did an FU. Can he cover? Yes, but Harper broke up the count. Cena supermanned back and went to climb out. But Rowan climbed up to meet him. Cena used Rowan's beard to pull him into the cage and he got the better of him. He nailed Harper in the ring and crawled for the door. All the Wyatts are out cold. Cena got to the door. Then the Wyatt noise hit. The lights went out. There was a kid at the door singing whole wide world. It freaked Cena out. When he turned around, Sister Abigail was waiting. Bray and the family left the cage. Bray hugged thge kid. He won. OK, this match was really complex. Cena was Superman, of course, and some people will hate that. But the guy is an all timer. He has earned the right to be protected, and WWE used the common opinion to make people think "He will do it again". But he didn't. And the story advanced, which was cool. Bray will do anything. ... The match was solid but it was actually more than a match. It was different, and I am cool with that. It wasn't great, or maybe even good. And Cena got way too much, but he is Cena and they aren't going to job him out, so we have to accept that. Tamina vs. Paige for the Divas Title starts off hour three. It was back and forth, with Paige wrestling and Tamina using her power. Paige did a cool submission and got the win. It was what it was. When they really build up a challenger for her, people will be more into. They shot to the back where the Wyatts were with Little Johnny. The kid. Everything John Cena stands for has been vanquished. What will they do little Johnny? Follow the Wyatts. Johnny has a bizarre voice. Johnny put on the lamb mask. 

 The main event is next. Main event time. Kane went after Bryan right away with a cane. Bryan fought back an hit a rana from the top. Then a flying knee. And a splash to the floor. But then Kane nailed a boot on him. Then, Kane took control until Kane walked into a kendo stick, but then as Bryan came off the top, Kane hit him in the throat. Then Kane went to work with a chair. But again Bryan stopped him and hit a top rope dropkick and a Flying Goat. The crowd just wanted to see Bryan kill him. He tried, with a monitor to the head on the floor. But Kane came back. He used table parts on Bryan. Then he cleared the real announce table. Michael Cole has a bald spot by the way. Kane went for a chokeslam but Bryan fought out. Knee to the face then a tornado DDT on the floor. The fans chanted for Bryan. ... Kane went to do a tombstone on the steps but Bryan fought out of it. ... Then off they went to brawl around the building and the back. They got to the parking lot where Kane killed cars when he tried to get Bryan. Bryan hit him with a pipe and so he couldn't win there, he had to get him to the ring. So he hit him with the pipe again, put him on a pallet and got a forklift and drove him back to the ring. He got there and raised it and dumped Kane in the ring. Cool spot. He then went went up to the pallet and did the flying headbutt. Two count only. Cool stuff. ... Bryan set up and did Yes and the crowd got into it. Kane got up and did a chokeslam for a two. Kane grabbed a chair. He set up for a tombstone on it. But Bryan countered and got a two. Bryan grabbed the chair and hit Kane in the back repeatedly. He then went for the Yes lock. Kane fought to get out. Bryan didn't really have it. Kane got the kendo and hit Bryan but Bryan grabbed it and used it to do the Yes Lock. Kane managed to get himself to the floor. DB went for the Flying Goat but Kane caught him and chokeslammed him through the ringside table. Kane put him back in the ring and then grabbed a table from under the ring and set it up on the floor. He grabbed a gas can and he poured it on the table. Burning table! Bryan managed to knock Kane through it. Kane got extinguished quickly but it was cool. Flying Knee. Bryan wins! As Bryan was leaving, Kane popped up. But the show was over. This wasn't a classic, but it was a lot of fun. They did a lot of cool stuff to make it a lot of fun. Overall, really good show.